26. January 2009 by Frank.

I’m not sure what caused me to start reminiscing about my early days as a Christian. I don’t actually dwell on the past all that much. It may have been because the friend who turned on me from several posts ago was from that time.

I willingly made Christianity my entire life. I embraced it as my entire reason for existence. What little I’ve related about those first six months should show how much I was willing to rationalize excuses for god’s failures; I would think most normal people would have run off screaming after experiencing what I did. I was promised love, forgiveness, redemption.

What I saw was the exact opposite.

Booze and drugs were my entire life. I couldn’t go back to them. I couldn’t go back to the despair and the emptiness. To accept the truth of what I actually saw Christianity to be was too painful of an option.

I had another vested interest in continuing as well. I met my wife in that little messed up church. In fact, the old friend who just turned on me was my wife’s best friend, we really met at her house when she hosted the young people’s group. My wife was born and raised in a local Baptist church and she only came to the charismatic church because they were best friends and did everything together. My wife never accepted their doctrines and teachings. I asked her to marry me three months and two days after meeting her (on Valentine’s Day) and we were married six months and three weeks after meeting. Sound slightly compulsive? Obsessive? That was twenty eight years ago and we are still together.

Our married life started disastrously. My wife has epilepsy. It was under medical control but the stress of getting married tripped it off again. She had a seizure while driving down I-94 that nearly killed both of us. But I was a man of great faith so I let her drive again a couple of days later, I was sure god would not let anything happen to her and we only had the one car. Well, god failed to deliver once again, she had another seizure and drove into the side of a building. Ironically the seizure actually saved her life at the same time it nearly ended it. This was before it was mandatory to wear seat belts and air bags weren’t all that common yet. The seizure left her completely limp from head to toe so she bounced like a rag doll and was completely uninjured despite folding the car up like an accordion. We saw that as a miracle from god.

Whatever character flaws I might have had at the time, I do not quit or give up.

We started going to her Baptist church because I didn’t have any alternatives. There weren’t any other charismatic churches in the area and I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with one if there were. The church was old and dying; the pastor’s sermons were certainly dead already. You can guess what I decided.

I was sent to bring that church back to life.

Notice a pattern here?

I became a baptist but I was a pentecostal baptist. I was functioning in a different spiritual realm than they were but I was determined to make it work. I joined the church so I could teach there. But I was alone as far as spiritual things went. No one shared my interest in the spiritual gifts or even in studying the bible as relentlessly as I did. I was an outsider the entire time I was there.

I kept trying to live by faith and god kept failing to honor it. And I kept making excuses for him. Eventually, sometime after my daughter was born, our lives had turned to shit again and I started drinking heavily again. Except for a few isolated memories this period of time is a big black hole to me. I know I battled ferociously with the booze and my desire to keep serving god. My faith finally won when I decided my desire for booze was demonic in origin. I cast it out and stopped cold turkey again. And I had my daughter to think of.

That second drinking binge ruined my health. I became overweight and my blood pressure started going nuts. The medicines they tried me on caused me all kinds of very bad side effects which eventually stopped parts of my body from functioning properly. The damage became so severe that I decided that I could beat the high blood pressure with diet, exercise, and massive doses of faith. I did everything I could to read and watch anything I could get my hands on that I thought would build up my faith. Not standard baptist procedure.

My radical search for more faith led me to sneak more and more pentecostal style teachings into my teaching. Eventually the pastor decided enough was enough and backed me into a corner. I had to take a stand on what I believed. So I did and he threw me out of the church. (This is an entire story all by itself – I’ll relate it some other time.) The result of this was great stress in my family and friends turning on me so viciously that you would have thought they were ravenous dogs instead of church leaders. I’ve mentioned before that you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Christians turn on you but it bears repeating. This wasn’t a matter of being an atheist.

This was a matter of not being the right kind of Christian. It was sickening.

I see atheists whining about Christian bigotry toward them all the time but I guarantee you haven’t seen anything like Christian bigotry toward other Christians. At least as an atheist you have the potential to be converted and saved from your evil ways. As a Christian with the wrong doctrines you’ve pretty much assigned yourself a permanent place in hell because although you might have known god you rejected the correct version of him. That is unforgivable.

So my faith eventually caused my stroke (because I stopped taking my meds) which turned my faith off. Once it was off my obsessive nature wouldn’t let go of the desire to know why. Why had I failed so thoroughly? How could I have been so wrong for so many years? How could I have done everything I knew how to do to please god and still not get results?

I started with the assumption that I must have believed the wrong things about god. So I began looking for other interpretations, other viewpoints. I kept looking in the bible but it seemed to have died with my faith. No words leapt off the page anymore. There was no more life in there. It really was poorly written, Shakespeare is far more eloquent. The great truths weren’t really so great and they weren’t unique to the bible. Eventually I started reading atheist writings which pointed out the flaws of the bible. Upon reading the bible again I saw that that was true, it was flawed, it was full of contradictions and errors. The very words which were my foundation now clearly showed themselves to be just words enhanced by faith. Take away the faith and they were nothing.

So I walked away.

In August this year it will be eleven years since the stroke. Eleven years of nonstop pain. Eleven years of financial ruin. Eleven years of one friend after another abandoning me. I still have a drink now and then to kill the pain but it doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. I really did manage to kill my compulsive side back in the day. I take my medicine all the time even though I still hate it and it still causes me side effects I don’t care to discuss.

I have no faith to fall back on but I wouldn’t trade being a clear headed atheist for anything. No more superstitious mumbo jumbo clouding the issue. No more non-existent sky daddy promising me the world but only giving me his leftover shit. No more delusions.

That’s where I came from. Originally.

What’s your story?

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20. January 2009 by Frank.

Within my first six months as a Christian I had read the New Testament several times, I had received the baptism of the holy spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues, I had multiple demons of hatred cast out of me, I had seen utter hypocrisy from people who were supposedly leaders of the church, I had been instructed in some truly bizarre “spiritual” teachings, I had witnessed false teaching on a monumental scale, I watched that little church destroy itself over its own teachings, and I saw “spiritually mature” men of god tuck their tails between their legs and run screaming for their mommies. And still I wouldn’t give up.

Just as there are many factions in Christianity (they call them denominations), there were many factions in that church. There were many wannabe leaders amongst the flock. One woman in particular had quite a following which gathered regularly at her house. Booze and drugs were openly involved. The one night I went there the main feature all these great spirit filled people were watching was a particularly gory horror movie. I was more than a little shocked. As I left, I added this to my list of things I had been sent to correct.

Another group was the young people. All churches have young peoples groups. This group ranged from very late teens into the early thirties. I eagerly joined it, wanting to belong as desperately as I did. The unofficial old man of the group was a very soft spoken fellow who was of the demon behind every blade of grass persuasion. Get togethers would often become prayer meetings which often would change into what was called house cleaning. That was the business of casting out all those demons that somehow managed to take up residence in all those spirit FILLED believers. (A concept I never fully understood.) Everyone followed his lead and never questioned his perception of all the demons we carried around with us. He was also quite into the idea that everything had a purpose, that everything was part of god’s plan. He was very good at demonstrating how to rationalize every little thing that happened to you to make it of far greater import than it actually had. The group fell apart when he got married and decided he would rather do married things than hang around with all us single losers.

And I continued on thinking that god was showing me all the nonsense so I would seek to find the real truth. (How’s that for rationalizing?)

In the early 80’s a false teaching called “headship” spread like wildfire through quite a few charismatic churches. Supposedly based on Old Testament teachings when Moses divided up the Hebrews to better manage them while roaming in the desert, the pastor and the elders decided that should be the structure of the church. The idea was that each member would be part of a group submitted to a leader. The groups of leaders would be submitted to one of the elders and the elders would be submitted to the pastor. The concept was the everyone had a spiritual “head” for guidance and each would have someone higher up as a head over them with the pastor as the final authority. This is the basis for a cult. Even I could see that.

The chief elder’s wife was thrust into the position of being in charge of the women. She neither wanted nor desired such responsibility. Nor was she qualified, she’s the one who started all the talk behind my back about the divorced girl I mentioned previously. (She wasn’t the only one rebelling, other people were very upset that we were having closed meetings to make this all happen.) She asked to speak one night after the service. Without warning, she lashed out at the pastor and accused him a having a demonic spirit of control.

Imagine that. Accusing your pastor of being demon possessed. Publicly.

The next day, the elders met secretly and dissolved their covenant. This church was big on having a covenant which bound us together in the lord. It was quite amazing that god let them declare it null and void with just a simple vote. Every last one of these bastards took off running, never to be heard of again. These mighty spiritual men of god whose greatest concern was the welfare of their flock shit their pants and ran screaming into the night. It was probably the most disgusting failure of Christianity I had seen to date.

The pastor tried to keep going for a couple more weeks but the damage was far too severe. I stayed with him, I thought a real man of god wouldn’t run just because everything went to hell. So I hung in until the bitter end.

I wasn’t your average Christian from the very beginning. I witnessed more unbelievable bullshit in my first six months than most people see in a lifetime in church. But it did not dissuade me. It startled me and confused me. It convinced me the church (in general) was in serious trouble. My fanaticism, however, overrode my reason. In both the Old and New Testaments, god sends his prophets to correct problems in the church.

Obviously, that was what he wanted me for.

TO BE CONTINUED …..

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16. January 2009 by Frank.

I have been told on more than one occasion that I was never a true Christian. I beg to differ. I was a holy spirit powered, fire breathing, Christian fanatic of the nth degree. I was prepared to go to the furthest corners of the earth to preach the word. I was ready to leave my family behind or drag them kicking and screaming along with me. I fully intended to become a preacher for the rest of my life.

But ……

There were complications. There were always complications. Most notably; other preachers, preachers who seemed determined to stop me at any cost. There were some spectacular failures of my faith. There were things I found out about big time ministries and nationally known preachers (by being directly involved with them) that ordinary pew warmers weren’t supposed to know. There were behind the scenes shenanigans that would make the most worldly sinner blush. There was the incredible hit and miss success of my faith (virtually 50/50) and the completely bizarre and random answers to prayer. And there was my never ending cycle of fire for god one moment drowned in ice water the next.

(Before I go any further I want to apologize if my narrative seems to get disjointed at times. I remember events clearly but I cannot place them in time correctly. Since the stroke my sense of time has become bizarre to say the least. Something that happened last week will seem like it happened years ago while something from years ago will seem like it happened yesterday. Believe me, this isn’t just age related forgetfulness. There are giant black holes of nothingness in my memory.)

That first week reading the New Testament words were leaping off the pages at me. Most of them were the promises of god, the whole god has provided everything you need for life routine. The biggest being the baptism of the holy spirit and all the spiritual gifts. This little church I started at was a charismatic church so they practiced those things. Speaking in tongues was described to me as receiving a prayer language with which your spirit could praise god. I wanted that bad. I felt so inadequate to offer praise to god for everything he had done for me. Those particular verses which confirm that teaching stood out to me so I sought after it wholeheartedly.

I’m not talking about the bullshit gibberish you see the televangelists spewing out. I’m talking about a beautiful, sing-song, lyrical, musical “language” that was truly inspiring. At least it sounded like a language. It wasn’t these guttural moanings and noises you see on TV. I was convinced that anyone making sounds like that was faking it. Do a search on Robert Tilton if you want an example of a complete fake. I’m not sure why I was so relentless in my pursuit of this gift in particular and all of them in general but I was determined to have them all and to find out everything I could about how they worked.

According to the bible the gifts are supposed to be for the building up of the church but they turned out to be more for the building up of the gifted one’s ego. They were used to demonstrate who had more of god’s approval and blessings. They eventually led to pride. Our branch of christianism is better than your branch of christianism because god has given us these gifts to show his approval. Why, you probably aren’t really even saved if you don’t do it our way. You aren’t “real” Christians.

Sound familiar?

I was already seeing the ugliness at the core of my new religion within the first few weeks of joining it. Instead of rejecting it on that basis, however, I rapidly learned to rationalize. God was letting me see the ugliness because he had called me to come to fix it. Man, was I arrogant or what? You wouldn’t think someone who was self-destructive as I was would have an ego like that. But at the same time I couldn’t let my mind accept that my new religion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be either.

I couldn’t let Jesus have feet of clay.

But I was also quite naive. I sincerely looked up to all those “mature” Christians at that little church. I believed whatever they told me. They thought there were demons behind every blade of grass. Even though the bible said Satan was defeated they seemed to think he was just shy of being as powerful as god and just as omnipresent. Even though we were supposedly “filled” with the holy spirit we could still be possessed, controlled, or at the very least, influenced by all sorts of demonic influences. And much to my dismay, even after being forgiven and cleansed by the blood of Jesus, I was still full of sin and still had a sin nature.

I look back at it now and can see how clearly Christianity is full of horrendous contradictions and errors. But back then I had a vested interest in Christianity being everything they said it was. I had gone from an empty life not worth living to a life that promised me a wonderful future. I could not accept that there were irreconcilable flaws in my beliefs. So like a good little automaton I began rationalizing. I learned how to pick and choose. I learned to quickly start thinking that god just hadn’t revealed the truth to me yet because I wasn’t spiritual enough yet.

The bible is quite clear about that. Spiritual things are of the spirit, they cannot be understood by the man without the spirit. That’s why you’ll never convince a true believer by using logic and reason applied to the bible. An atheist doesn’t have the spirit of god so how could you possibly understand the things of god? So I began studying the bible asking the spirit to lead me into all understanding.

Over the next twenty years I read it through cover to cover several times but I focused on the New Testament reading it at least 85 times all the way through in several different translations. That’s not something your average believer has ever done or will ever do. I know so many people who have been in church 40 or 50 years and have never done it once. When I get obsessed with something, I get obsessed thoroughly.

And there’s the irony; with that much knowledge of god’s word, I still walked away from it!

TO BE CONTINUED ……

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14. January 2009 by Frank.

I was a giant religious sponge for 18 years. I soaked up everything I could for my new lifestyle. I couldn’t get enough of it and became a true Christian fanatic. I was determined to get into the ministry from the first week on.

This was the late 70’s. All you have to do is watch a movie from that era to know how screwed up American culture was at the time. Just as lactose intolerance was an unknown condition back then, so too was OCD. I can’t recall any reference to it from that time frame. I was an obsessive personality type but I wasn’t compulsive, everything I did, I did very deliberately with great planning and forethought. I never felt driven to do it but I figured if I was going to do it, I should do it thoroughly. I even operated that way with my drinking and drug use, I was completely committed to them. I was a fanatic about my stereo system, I spent a fortune trying to get perfect sound from vinyl records. And I was also a voracious reader. Even though I was blasted out of my mind most of the time I still managed to read three or four novels a week.

The night all that came crashing down on me was devastating. I was empty inside but the thought of the booze I used for comfort now terrified me. A few days of climbing the walls sent me to a psychiatrist. That got me to go to an AA meeting which didn’t help at all – it disgusted me. These people were begging god to help them because they were so wretched and couldn’t possibly solve their problems on their own. I found that incredibly offensive. (Incidentally – if you have a drinking problem I advise you stay away from AA. Their philosophy is that you are an alcoholic, you will always be an alcoholic, and you can never stop being an alcoholic. You just beg god for help every day while continuing to declare that you’re an alcoholic. You’ll never get free thinking like that. IMHO.) The psychiatrist’s next piece of advice was to go to church. I didn’t exactly care for that suggestion either.

So my emptiness consumed me.

I had been exposed to church as a teenager but I never understood or believed any of it. Nevertheless, a chance encounter with a youth leader from my past planted the idea in my head of going to church the next morning. Miraculously the next morning I awoke to a voice screaming in my head, “GO TO CHURCH!” It was a command, there was no question but to obey it. The only church I knew of to go to was the one I had been invited to just the night before. So off I went.

It wasn’t church like I had ever been to before, it was more like a college lecture with music. The subject was Revelations and the end of the world. That really appealed to the science fiction nut in me, I loved end of the world stories. So I kept going back for the next month.

There was plenty of guilt and condemnation being preached. Somehow, it all emphasized the emptiness I was feeling. It also played on my deep abiding loneliness. But it also offered hope and purpose, two things of which I was absolutely void.

So five weeks later on Easter Sunday I took the plunge and gave my heart to god. I felt as though the entire weight of the world had been lifted from off my shoulders. I felt free from guilt and condemnation. I knew I was forgiven of all my bad thoughts and decisions. I was cleansed inside and out, not just of sin but of all the booze and drugs as well. I was part of a group now, something I had never been before. God had a plan for my life, I actually had a purpose even though I didn’t have a clue what it was.

If anyone had known what a voracious reader I was I don’t know if they still would have given me a bible that day. A week later, when I told the pastor I had read the entire New Testament, he was shocked, he didn’t believe that was possible. I had understood enough of it that I knew I wanted it all. I wanted all the promises and all the power. I also knew the church I was seeing was not the church I had read about. I was already getting the idea that I had been called to correct that situation.

I think that says more about how arrogant I actually was at that time than anything else.

Was it really a miracle that a voice woke me that morning? No. I had extremely vivid dreams, I still do. Was it hard to get me to feel guilty and condemned? Not at all. I was already wretchedly miserable. Was the offer of hope, love, forgiveness, and purpose something someone like me would likely reject? No, it was exactly what I wanted. It was exactly what I needed. I had ruined my life and I desperately wanted someone to save me.

Religion stepped in at just the right time and offered me precisely what I wanted. So I embraced with every fiber of my being. Religion was very beneficial to me, it changed the direction I was going in life. It gave me something to believe in and something to study. It gave me purpose. It changed the way I think and the way I behaved. It gave me strength and helped me overcome many problems.

It also hurt and disappointed me. It caused me tremendous grief. It made me lie to myself to keep from admitting its failures. It caused me to go off on some extreme tangents. It led me to do some incredible stupid things all in the name of pleasing god. It led me to make some horrendous decisions ultimately leading to the decision not to take Blood Pressure meds which in turn caused the stroke.

It’s somewhat ironic that the thing which saved me from self destruction nearly caused me to destroy myself.

TO BE CONTINUED ……..

P.S. I want to thank my father for saving my life this afternoon. I was eating some pot roast over at his house after work, talking and not paying attention. A very big piece went down my throat and just suddenly stopped. I have never been choked like that before. I managed to croak out, “CHOKED!” before my body went into total panic mode. My dad applied the Heimlich maneuver which works remarkably well. Thanks, Dad!

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13. January 2009 by Frank.

Christianity grabbed me when I was at the lowest point of my life. I was a self destructive (oh, let’s be honest – suicidal) alcoholic drug fiend. When I wasn’t trying to drink myself to death, I was taking some pill or snorting some powder. Most of the time I had no idea what they even were or what sort of effect they might have on me. I was a blithering idiot.

I was having blackouts all the time. I would come to my senses 50 to 100 miles away from where I last remembered being. I would always be alone. I would have been driving around for literally hours completely oblivious with no idea where I was or where I was going or for that matter, where I was coming from. I spent two years in this condition. How I lived through it I have no idea.

One such night I came to in my apartment. What I was doing (when I became aware) convinced me I had completely lost my mind. My behavior so horrified me that I promptly poured all my booze down the drain. I quit everything cold turkey out of stark raving fear. A couple of weeks later I told a psychiatrist what I had done but she’s the only person who has ever heard the full story. I think it best that it stays that way. Essentially I was destroying my beloved $1000 stereo in an extremely bizarre manor.

I was absolutely terrified that I had lost my mind. Permanently.

In stepped religion. Hope, love, acceptance, forgiveness, purpose. Exactly what I needed. I needed to completely alter my life and all the sudden here were these people promising exactly that. I dived in head first, wholeheartedly, without the slightest hesitation. And my life changed. Radically.

Religion absolutely had to work for me. It was my last hope. I was already doing everything I could to kill myself short of actually doing it. I didn’t understand it at the time but I was instantly in the rationalizing business full time. All of the many different aspects and promises of my new religion had to be true, I couldn’t afford to be wrong. Fortunately for gung ho new converts there’s an easy out for any failures of your new faith; god just hasn’t revealed it to you yet. Unfortunately, that soon becomes a way of life.

Jesus told his disciples that the man who had the bigger debt canceled would love more and the man who had been forgiven little would love little. I felt my debt was massive beyond belief. So that perfectly explained to me why I was so much more in love with god than all the regular church folks around me. It wasn’t until later, much later, that I realized that it was actually a combination of my desperation and my obsessive personality.

The ugly side of religion reared its head the first week of my salvation. People started talking behind my back about a young woman who befriended me. It seems she was divorced and currently involved with another young man under the strict guidance of the pastor because of the divorce. The whole thing was ridiculous, she was only trying to welcome me into the congregation – I knew it, she knew, and her boyfriend (who eventually became my best friend) knew it but the busybodies didn’t know it and they started gossiping. This idiotic unchristian (to my fresh innocent recently converted mind) behavior and a number of other things conspired to convince me I had been sent to straighten out the mess the modern church had become.

I decided I was supposed to be a preacher.

This all happened the first week after getting saved, mind you. I also read the entire New Testament all the way through the first time that week. I had no idea that meant I knew the bible better than people who had been in church for years. I was a giant naive sponge.

Giant naive sponges can be dangerous.

TO BE CONTINUED ………….

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2. January 2009 by Frank.

I just got a phone call from an old christian friend.  Everything was fine and friendly up until the moment she asked if I was going to church.  When I answered, No, her entire tone abruptly changed.  There was hostility and condemnation in her voice almost instantly.  What do you mean?  Did you give up on church or god?  Both, says I.  How could you?  God has a plan for you, you just have to have faith.  My faith is long gone.  So you don’t believe in god?  I’ll pray for you.  Don’t bother.  Idle chitchat, goodbye, click.

I’ve become a non-entity to her.

It’s not the first time and I’m sure it’s not the last.  The self righteous arrogance in her voice scraped my nerves raw.  Then I started feeling guilty for offending her.  Then I got mad at myself for feeling that way.  Just because I stopped believing in her god I’m suddenly no longer worth talking to.

Christians have done this to me before.

I’m sick of it.

I’m rapidly running out of bridges to burn.

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1. January 2009 by Frank.

Matthew 5:18 (KJV) For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Or a little more clearly:

Matthew 5:18 (NIV) I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.

According to the Bible those are the words of Jesus himself. He had just delivered what is known as the Beatitudes and had declared that he came not to abolish the Law and the Prophets but to fulfill them. He then went on to tell the people that just calling someone a fool would put them in danger of hell. And looking at a woman with lust in your heart made you an adulterer which would also send you to hell. He finished up with love your enemies.

There are all kinds of problems in this passage, things that make you stop and think if you actually pay attention to what it says.

Notice that Jesus believes in hell. Notice how sin will send you there. Notice how almost every heterosexual male on the planet is an adulterer essentially from the moment they hit puberty. Notice how Jesus wants you to love your enemies but how his enemies go to hell. Hell is obviously real, Jesus says it is. Fire and all. Sorry all you modern Christians that want to softsell the idea of hell. Your God created it and still believes in it.

As for all you folks who don’t think the Law applies anymore because you are under grace, guess again. The earth is still here (I assume heaven is too even though no one has ever found it it), it has not passed away. The Seventh Day Adventists are right, the Law is still in effect. You’re worshiping on the wrong day. I’ll bet some of you work on Saturday. Report to church immediately so we can stone you to death.

Tell me fathers out there do you follow this law? Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (NIV) If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and he rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

So think about this; your virgin daughter whom you haven’t sold to someone to marry is out partying and gets raped and you find out about it. Do you kill the rapist or castrate him or at the very least beat him to a bloody pulp? No. According to the law of your most holy god you take 50 shekels of silver from the bastard and let him marry her. Permanently. No hope of divorce. The earth is still here, this law has not disappeared. Tell me ladies, if someone raped you would you want to be sold to him and then married to him for the rest of his life? This is the word of your “family values” god.

Speaking of adultery verse 22 tells us, If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. We’re gonna need a lot of stones to take care of that.

Verse 23 tells us that if you live in town and have sex with a rapist and don’t scream loudly enough for help we have to stone both of you. Verse 24 tells us that rape in the country with plenty of screaming for help is somewhat different. Because no one could hear your cries and rescue you, we only have to stone the rapist himself. Lucky you.

Feeling disgusted yet? Take off your faith blinders and read what your god actually said to you. But this is old testament! So what? Jesus said not one word would pass away from the Law until heaven and earth were gone. The old testament isn’t some kind of intellectual exercise for you to learn from, it is the word your god handed down to rule your ancestors. Women were property in those days. They could even be sold to their rapists.

Is this really where your morals come from?

This is the first of a series of posts about things that drove me away from my religion once my eyes were opened. I knew this kind of thing was in the Bible but my beliefs required me to ignore them. Churches everywhere turn blind eyes to the ugliness at the core of their faith. My eyes were opened.

This is what I saw.

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