SOME BAD EXAMPLES

12. May 2009 by Frank.

I realized that I have experienced some really bad shit in the name of religion over the years.

One time while teaching on the absolute necessity of forgiveness toward others after god had forgiven you, I ran into someone with a forgiveness problem that I had no answer for.  This guy’s daughter had diabetes and she died because she believed the teaching of a whackjob Pentecostal preacher and stopped taking her medicines.  She was an adult in her thirties so it wasn’t a situation where her parents could force her to do otherwise.  She kept believing until she went into a diabetic coma from which she never woke up.  The preacher kept preaching divine healing the whole time.  As far as the father was concerned the preacher murdered his daughter.

He would never forgive him.

Believing fool that I was, I kept insisting that the bible required him to forgive the preacher.  So did several other members of the class.  Goody two shoes that we were, we couldn’t see that a supposed man of god had hurt this man beyond his ability to forgive.  We kept insisting that was what Jesus would do.  After all, harboring hate in your heart just hurt you not the object of that hate.  He refused to see our point.

I can’t say I blame him.  I sometimes wonder what kind of asshole was I back then.  Talk about a lack of compassion.  It’s amazing how the so-called love of god can lead you to be a complete dick to someone because you’re trying to obey the bible.

When I was first married I dragged my new bride off to a Kenneth Copeland convention in Atlanta.  This was in the early 80’s when Atlanta was infamously proclaiming that it was the murder capital of the country.  We did not have enough money to make this trip but Copeland had specifically been teaching that this convention was so important that everyone should come anyway and have faith that god would honor their commitment and determination by miraculously providing the money.  Oh yes, I was a fool for Christ.

Our money ran out the second day there.  We could not pay for our hotel room.  God did not answer my prayers.  So there we sat in the convention center talking about what we were going to do.  Some elderly ladies overheard us and decided god wanted them to give us their offering money to help us out.  I took the envelope but didn’t open it until that night after the convention.  I was so happy, god had honored my faith after all!

There was $9 in the envelope.  Yes, that’s right, nine dollars.  The hotel wanted a whole lot more than that.  In order to pay the bill I went to a finance company (that no longer exists) and got a short term loan to pay the hotel and get us home.  I had to turn to the world for help to get home from a convention god called me to come to.  Did I curse god and die?  No, I cursed myself and Kenneth Copeland but mainly myself for not having enough faith.  I should have walked away right then but I was just getting started.

I turned away from Copeland’s teachings after that but I did not actually learn my lesson.  Several years later, we were having a financial crisis again and I happened to turn on the religious TV station when Copeland was  preaching that god wanted you to get out of debt.  How did I react?  Why, that was exactly what I needed to hear.  God must be speaking directly to me through Copeland once again!

Regular genius that I was, I, of course, decided to follow his new teachings.

Needless to say, this caused an even greater disaster for us.  I very nearly ruined our lives trying to depend on god to provide our needs.  Because I was a freaking faith giant.

I can mock religious stupidity because I lived it.

I indulged in every extreme nutjob behavior and then some.  I treated people abominably because I was convinced I was right.  I made horrendous decisions because the man of god told me god would always honor his word and my faith.  I kept on believing and actively promoting all this bullshit even though I had tons of evidence that none of it was true and none of it worked.  I’m ashamed of myself.

But I have forgiven myself now that I’m a realist.  Back then I could believe myself into a box, nowadays I can think my way out of it.

That’s a big improvement.  Learn by example.

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