RANDOM RAMBLINGS ON WEDDING DAY THIS AFTERNOON RANDOMLY

My daughter is getting married this afternoon at 3 beside the river at the Bandshell.  Yesterday’s fierce thunderstorms have cleared out of the area and it looks to be a beautiful sunny day.  It may be a bit too steamy with all the water but I don’t think we’ll wilt.  You couldn’t ask for a lovelier setting.

We are in such bad shape financially that we couldn’t help pay for anything.  So I volunteered to save them a couple of grand by being their photographer.  I am a picture taking fool with desires of becoming a professional.  I use a Nikon D70 which takes wonderful pictures.

One of the groomsmen’s wife asked me how I could do that; wouldn’t it be too emotional a time for me?  I told her that photography is what I love to do.  I didn’t go into my stroke addled “I’m not in phase with the rest of the emotional universe” details.  Before the stroke I would have been a basket case today and it would have been too much to take the pictures.  But thanks to a little brain re-wiring I am officially Laid Back Lenny.  You can’t even get this mellow with some really good weed.

I don’t react to emotional events like most people.  I’m not emotionless but I guess you could say that I’m extremely subdued except when something angers me.  My anger flares up to white hot intensity and instantly dissipates.  It is very, very weird.  Things that make me feel good are few and far between but I’m actually in a good mood most of the time in spite of the pain that never lets up.  I don’t know how to describe what living in intense pain is like.  In a way I think that the abnormally calm emotional condition is the only thing that could balance it out so that I can function in the real world.

My daughter and her groom aren’t religious but a minister (retired) is doing the ceremony because he’s an old friend of the groom’s family.  He didn’t come to the rehearsal so I’m not sure what to expect from him.  I’m hoping he keeps it christian lite.  It’s a compromise for the sake of family.  This isn’t the time to make a bold atheist statement.  We’ve already got enough bitching going on about having booze at the reception.

I splurged and bought myself some new disposable razors so I won’t be quite so scruffy looking.  I even polished my shoes.

My daughter has been my best friend all her life.  I held her for the first hour of her life after she made an incredibly quick appearance.  I put her to bed every night with a story frequently involving all of her stuffed animals.  I never lied to her about my drug and booze addicted days.  We taught her to think for herself and always try to do what’s right.  I think we did a wonderful job of raising her.  I’m ridiculously proud of her.  We have a corny routine we always do; “You’re my favorite daughter,” says I, “Dad, I’m your only daughter,” she replies.

Her husband to be is quite obviously the most fortunate man on earth.

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