NOTHING TO SAY

7. October 2009 by Frank.

It seems to me that no one has much to say lately.  It’s one of those bleak in-between periods that periodically arise bringing apathy to the already apathetic.

I’ve been out of the loop last week with the death of my father-in-law.  The amount of family grief poured out during the week has been overwhelming.  I personally believe the funeral process was way too long and drawn out.  On Monday was the family viewing, on Tuesday it was the public visitation, and Wednesday was the actual funeral.  This is too stressful in my opinion; I prefer what we did when my mother died, one event on one day.  Essentially it was everything combined into one 2 hour service.  But even at that I must admit I don’t understand all the ritual involved or see the necessity for it.

My father-in-law was greatly loved, especially by his four grand-daughters.  My wife was particularly close to him, spending 2 or 3 days a week with him, buying his groceries and general keeping him company.  He was not in good health but there was nothing going on that was life threatening as far as anyone knew.  He died on the way to the hospital for a follow up check, less than a half mile away.  To say it was a shock would be an understatement of unbelievable proportions.

The funeral itself was actually fairly decent.  The preacher only used about 10% of the time preaching salvation and the rest he devoted to relaying family stories about how much the family was loved.  I was impressed he actually had paid attention.  The moron who did my mother’s funeral obviously didn’t know her or pay much attention to what anyone said about her.

It seems to me that the christians involved need a lot of reassuring that the loved one indeed made it to heaven and that they will be reunited.  To me, this is nonsense although I used to fully embrace it.  I kept my mouth shut throughout the proceedings.  No one shares my views or understanding so there is no point.

It amazes me that faith is so fragile.

The reading of the will is this afternoon.  That should be the final event of the whole affair.  With one exception the family is far from wealthy so beyond the house and car there really isn’t much.  My wife has been a basket case and I don’t think this will help matters any.

Not very many people tried to reassure me about anything this whole time.  In fact, most of them did their best to avoid me.  I don’t have any need to argue with all those believers so I don’t say anything and I agree with their platitudes instead of pointing out the truth.  If all the phony Jesus was the most important thing in their life stuff comforts them who am I to argue?  I don’t proclaim I am an atheist so something else about me must be radiating a stay away field.

Of course, this doesn’t exactly provide me with any comfort.  So I’m left to deal with my own feelings on my own.  I write it down for total strangers to read.  I live in an alien universe.  I know there are others like me but they aren’t here.  If they are, they’re well hidden.  I didn’t even get anything on Facebook.

So I appreciate those of you who left condolences in the comments.  I am far more grateful for your support than you may realize.

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