28. November 2009 by Frank.

In only one year and seven months this humble little blog just went over the 200,000 mark.  That makes me feel good.  Thank you very much to all who visit here.

Now if I can just figure out how to get some more of you to speak up and leave comments.

Then I would know for sure if some of those 200,000 were actual people.

Thanks, everybody, I really appreciate you.

Posted in Uncategorized | Print | 2 Comments »

23. November 2009 by Frank.

I’m getting tired of being told no real atheist is 100% certain there is no god.  I’m sick of hearing the words “trope” and “meme” as if they magically expressed some deep truth.  I’m quite exhausted by all the logical arguments.

We’re not all college age debate squad members.

And I know for a fact that the average church goer does not seek out unbelievers to use logic on them.  Nor are they likely to understand logical arguments if they do encounter one.  As much a deal is made about witnessing and saving the lost, the vast majority would rather just let the pastor do it.  I was in church, in ministry, for 20 years; I know whereof I speak.

So why are so many atheist blogs so big on trying to debate and prove wrong theologians and apologists?  Seriously, where does one go to find the local theologian, the wise holy man who knows all the arguments for and against?  There aren’t any mountaintops here in Michigan to make a pilgrimage to.

If it makes perfect sense for people to reject every god except one, then how is it that when one rejects that final god he still isn’t allowed to be 100% certain there are no gods?  What?  Have we got an additional supply of gods we don’t know about?  Am I being facetious?

Definitely.  I get tired of being told what I can and cannot think.

Practically everyone I know is some form of christian.  I do not debate any of them, I have no desire to do so.  I could show them so much proof their beliefs are wrong from their own holy bible that you would think anyone would be convinced I was right.  I don’t bother because it’s futile.  Anything I say goes into a very selective filter so that the christian never hears anything they don’t want to hear.

You can’t even get a Baptist to hear a Pentecostal belief correctly.

What chance would an atheist have?

There’s a time and place for debate and anyone can blog about whatever they want.  I actually enjoy some sound logic now and then.  What I resent is being lumped into groups that I’m obviously not part of.  We do that to the religious all the time and think nothing of it.  But they aren’t all the same, they don’t all agree, they certainly don’t all think alike.  Atheists don’t have any common bond other than a lack of belief in god(s) and yet we still try to put labels on each other and define how we all should think.  Sorry, that doesn’t work.

I read.  I come across words and phrases constantly that I have never heard anyone use in conversation.  I am reasonably sure I would have to define those words to whomever I was talking to, if I were to use them myself.  Meme and trope are two such words.  Atheist blogs use these words with alarming frequency and yet I have never heard them spoken by anyone.  I come in contact with a lot of people.  Atheist bloggers seem to think that everyone sits around thinking about these concepts if not all the time at least most of the time.

But what in the world is a meme?  From Dictionary.com, “Richard Dawkin’s term for an idea considered as a replicator, especially with the connotation that memes parasitize people into propagating them much as viruses do.”  Or “Ideas can evolve in a way analogous to biological evolution.”  Heavy stuff.  College professor speak.  Atheist bloggers picked up on the concept and obviously ran with it to the extent that one of them is mentioning a meme every time you look around.  I find it odd that my spell checker knows meme but apparently hasn’t heard the obvious sounding but totally obscure parasitize.  Put simply, memes are thought viruses.

Now that we have that straight, what’s a trope? From Dictionary.com, “any literary or rhetorical device, as metaphor, metonymy, synecdoche, and irony, that consists in the use of words in other than a literal sense.”  Don’t be embarrassed, I had to look up metonymy and synecdoche, too, although my spell checker does know them.  Let’s just say figure of speech shall we?  I used to get in trouble when I was a kid because I enjoyed reading the dictionary.  I was delighted to find cool sounding words that no one knew the meaning of.  I stopped doing that a long time ago but obviously other word nerds didn’t.

The point is, nobody talks like this in normal conversation.  What are we doing, trying to sound intellectual?  Or just trying to give the impression that we’re all a bunch of deep thinkers compared to our religious targets?

I do have to admit that there are quite a few atheist bloggers I read that actually are college students.  But outside their little groups who actually talks like this?

I have the misfortune to be related to some people very heavily involved in politics, law, and big money.  Occasionally I have been in their presence when they are communicating in political, legal, and wealth language that I barely understand.  I politely listen, keep my mouth shut, and manage to get the gist of what they’re talking about.  It isn’t pleasant and, again, most people don’t talk like this.

It’s also extremely obvious that nothing I think or say would be of interest to any of them.

I get the same feeling with quite a few atheist bloggers.  That’s what I’m ranting about.  I haven’t read all the relevant books, I don’t know all the right words.  I understand all this stuff far better than you might think but I don’t find it useful in dealing with other people.  Logic and reason are wonderful things but beating people over the head with them doesn’t work.  Someone struggling with losing their faith isn’t necessarily looking for cold hard facts, they may need some kind of emotional empathy more than that.

I had to deal with my stroke altered life and my loss of faith at the same time.  I didn’t have anyone to turn to, no one stepped in to help me or lead me to someone who could help.  My doctor knew nothing of stroke effects beyond his PDA and textbooks.  If there was any kind of support group in the area, no one referred me to them.  Not one but two churches turned their backs on me, there was no spiritual counseling either.  There weren’t any atheist blogs back then and, in a way, I’m glad there weren’t.  All the memes and tropes and logical arguments thrown around today would have left me cold back then.  I needed cold hard facts.  I needed solid reasons and explanations for what happened to me.

I didn’t need word games.

I certainly didn’t need anyone to tell me what to think or to believe.  I didn’t need to be assigned some label or to be put in some category.  I didn’t need to be alienated from the very people who actually could understand what I was going through.

That’s what disturbs me about a great many atheist blogs currently.  They seem hell bent on alienating the very people they claim to be trying to reach.

Lighten up, people!

OK.  Rant over.

Posted in wild guesses, interpretation, communication, humor, listen, hearing, religion, emotion, education, stroke | Print | 3 Comments »

21. November 2009 by Frank.

Many years ago Lester Sumrall was speaking about a big time evangelist in Africa (sorry, I can’t remember which one) who proudly told him that the first thing they taught newly founded churches was how to raise money.  Sumrall thought that was a fantastic idea.

That’s not too shocking, Sumrall was all about raising money.

Get them saved and teach them how to give to the church right away so you can get even more saved and teach them how to give to the church right away.  I’m not just referring to tithing, no, tithing was a requirement.  You weren’t actually giving until you gave money above and beyond your tithe.  If you didn’t tithe, god didn’t accept any of your other offerings, although the church gladly took it anyway.

Sumrall even stated that he thought it was also a good idea to send the deacons out to people’s houses to collect their tithes, offerings, and pledges just in case they didn’t come to church or “forgot” to pay up.  Money was more important than anything else in that ministry.

I joined up for the prayer line ministry.  I was shocked to discover that not only was I to pray for the callers, I was required to solicit them for money.  I was supposed to imply that god would be more inclined to answer their prayers if they financially supported the ministry.  I was also expected to man the telephones during their telethons, making calls to previous donors asking for more.  Some of these people on the list had given as little as ten cents.  I was then asked to continue making such calls weeks after the telethon was over.  Imagine my surprise one Saturday afternoon I was in the call center at the TV station alone when a couple I had seen in church came in and started calling people on the list.  It turned out they weren’t there as volunteers, they had been hired and were being paid to make the same calls I was making.

This whole ugly business very nearly destroyed my faith at the time.  Looking back, I wish it would have, I could have saved a few more useless years as christian.

But I was of the mind that one rotten apple didn’t mean the whole bushel was corrupt.

There is a perception that most televangelists are nothing more than big time con artists except among their followers.  This seems completely obvious to anyone not under their sway.  Having been up close and personal with several of them I know it as a fact.  Take a good con man and add in the ability to use religious guilt, you’ve got a multimillionaire televangelist.

I went to a Kenneth Copeland convention once even though I couldn’t afford the trip.  His teachings had me convinced I could do it by faith because I was sure god wanted me to attend.  I had to go to a worldly quick loan company to get enough money to pay for my hotel and to get back home, god didn’t help me at all.  Copeland, worth millions, was in the same restaurant as I and a number of other convention-goers.  Was he generous and treated all of us to a nice dinner?  No.  His fawning fans insisted on buying him and his wife the most expensive meals on the menu and pay their tip.  He was a great spiritual leader and god was just blessing him for doing god’s work.  I could have that, too, if I would just totally give myself to god as well.  But somehow or other, it never worked for me no matter how much I gave myself over to praying and studying the word.  I didn’t know how to raise money from the easily deceived.

But without exception these people know how to raise money.

I’ve never been financially sound, I’ve been struggling my entire adult life.  A large part of that is because I was trying to tithe and give offerings when I didn’t actually have enough money to do it.  These people convinced me that god had to have his share first (meaning the preacher and his church) before I paid my bills.  God’s 10% had to come off the top.  Unless you did that nothing else you gave mattered.  I made some horrendous financial decisions because of that teaching.

How the vow of poverty from days long past morphed into the prosperity gospel I have no idea.  But it did and now there are some branches of christianity that revolve around money far more than the son of god.  Sumrall taught that god wouldn’t heal you or bless you in any other way if you didn’t pay up.  Somehow if you deny me before men, I’ll deny you before the father got reworded to if you withhold your money from me, I’ll withhold the father’s blessings from you.  Anyone who sat under that ministry and got free of it knows that is the truth.

I frequently try to excuse less greedy churches.  Unfortunately, they still operate in the same realm.  Why is giving money a part of every worship service?   Why does it need to be done publically?  Jesus said not to let your left hand know what the right hand is doing.  What purpose does passing the offering plate serve other than to show other people your piety?  Seriously, why can’t church finances be done behind the scenes completely?

Because not very many would put any money in if they weren’t constrained to by some well applied public guilt.

You can’t serve god and mammon.

Apparently that isn’t true.

Money can’t buy happiness.  But it can buy off god.  Somehow that just doesn’t sound right.  Somehow that sounds like something human hucksters would do.  Hucksters in priest’s clothing.

Posted in interpretation, communication, wild guesses, listen, education, hearing, religion | Print | 1 Comment »

12. November 2009 by Frank.

I used to believe everything that happened had a purpose.  I was sure there was no such thing as coincidence, all the events of my life were part of god’s plan from the mind boggling to the miniscule.  I can’t think of a single scripture that actually says that but there are plenty of them that imply it.  I was not the only one who believed that.

I dare say most christians believe it to some extent or another.

When his followers were concerned about where their next meal was coming from Jesus pointed out that god feeds the birds and they were worth more than birds.  Even the hairs on their heads were all numbered.  Think about that.  Every hair on every head (well, except for bald guys) numbered.  Really implies god is very much interested in every single aspect of your life.  He keeps track of each hair on billions of people.

With that kind of attention to detail how can anything be just random coincidence?

Once you accept the premise that everything has a purpose or a reason, you’ve just gotten yourself into a huge can of worms.  I doubt everyone goes overboard with little day to day trivialities but what happens when something major happens?  There has to be an explanation for it.  Somehow it has to be part of god’s plan for your life.  God must be teaching you something.  God wants you to suffer through something so you can help others suffering the same thing.  He’s going to use your misfortune to bless someone else later on.  It’s in the rationalization of the reasons that you cause yourself the most stress and grief.

Why did god let my wife have a seizure and drive the car into the side of an office building?  I was at my faith peak when this happened.  It was insane the things I came up with to explain it.  The stupidest one of all was that he allowed it because she loved her new found freedom of driving more than she loved Jesus so he had to show her how wrong she was.  Jesus must be first in everything.  After all, he kept her from getting hurt, didn’t he?

It didn’t matter that we had just bought the car and it was a total loss.  It didn’t matter that the insurance premiums skyrocketed out of range of my budget.  It wasn’t important that the subsequent doctor visits with the extremely expensive medicines that our insurance didn’t cover nearly drove us to bankruptcy.  The financial stuff wasn’t important to god,  it just meant I had to learn to trust him more to supply our needs.

Nor was it of any importance that the testing of all those medicines severely altered her personality and nearly ruined our marriage before it even started. 

This is just an example of what kind of thinking believing everything has a purpose produces.  When I had the stroke, the same thinking kicked in but there wasn’t any faith mixed with it.  It led me to questioning everything I believed about my faith.  I started with the assumption that everything I believed was wrong, that somehow I had followed the wrong teachings or had misunderstood something vital.  That was how I gradually learned the truth that there wasn’t any god plotting and planning my life.   There is coincidence.  Shit happens.  Randomly and without reason or purpose.  The universe or even the immediate world around us is hostile to life.

It usually makes no sense whatsoever.

The deaths of my mother and my father-in-law were ugly, horrendous, devastating events.  There was no purpose in my mother suffering intense agony for three weeks.  No one got saved or grew closer to Jesus.  No one’s faith got stronger.  My father-in-law died abruptly without much warning, his health wasn’t good but nothing life threatening.  That has devastated my wife and her siblings.  He was the only thing that held them together as a family.  What’s the divine purpose behind that?

The problem is the rationalizing these events to make them fit the belief.

I know for a fact that this causes tremendous stress.  Much anxious hand wringing accompanied an abundance of prayer asking god for a reason to make sense of it.  Since no answer is ever forthcoming, your own mind starts trying to fill in the blanks.  Depending on how creative you are, you can come up with some seriously bizarre explanations.

Believe it or not, the stupidest idea I came up with to explain my wife’s accident was the one that satisfied both of us.  Looking back at it now, I can see how petty my god actually was, which is a pretty good indication of how petty minded I actually was at the time.  Imagine it, Jesus so wants to be the prime focus of your life that he allows (or wills) you to have an accident that destroys your car, part of an office building, your financial situation, causes years of disastrous drug trials which nearly cost your job and marriage, and severely pushes your faith to the breaking point.  All for what?  So that you’ll love him more and learn to trust him for everything.  Brought on by the joy my wife finally had at being able to drive a car whenever she wanted for the first time in her life.

That is a very small, pathetically needy god.

“God moves in mysterious ways,” says the previous generations.  We weren’t strongly religious when I was a kid but I heard this over and over.  It gives rise to letting your imagination run wild trying to make random events conform to your predetermined beliefs.  One of the great flaws of christianity is the idea that god leads you in the path you should follow.  This leadership isn’t verbal; it’s hunches, guesses, intuition, feelings, coincidences that can’t possibly be coincidences, mixed with a large portion of what you really want to be true.  If you claim you’re actually hearing the voice of god it’s the mental hospital for you but you’re still supposed to claim god is leading you, that still, small voice you know.  Interpreting bible verses to fit your situation is also encouraged.

But it’s all just guesswork.

You make stuff up to fit a pattern that isn’t really there.  How thoroughly you do this determines how much unnecessary heartache you cause yourself.  Sometime when I feel like really humiliating myself, I will reveal some of my more outrageous rationalizations.  I have trouble believing I was once so thoroughly deluded that I was sure god wanted me to start my own church.  All sorts of events made it seem so plausible, so necessary.  It started early on for me when I decided I was sent to the Baptists to wake them up spiritually.  When it became obvious they didn’t want to be awakened, it wasn’t too hard to shift gears and decide those were just training exercises.

Why, when they threw me out, it was just god telling me it was time to get moving.

Purpose driven life?

No, thanks.

Way too much trouble and far too complicated.

Posted in interpretation, communication, humor, wild guesses, listen, emotion, education, hearing, religion | Print | 3 Comments »

8. November 2009 by Frank.

I keep coming across people who are very afraid.

Not of anything real mind you.  Just afraid.  “Oh, god, help me!” afraid.  Superstitiously afraid.

I don’t understand it.  One guy is constantly praying for and asking his followers to also pray for protection while they sleep.  Protection from what?  The closet monster?  The under the bed monster?  The boogie man?  Bad dreams?  Demons?  Things that go bump in the night?

Another fellow had to beg god for travelling mercies for an 8 mile trip the other day.  Oh yes, those 8 miles were fraught with danger and demons behind every bush we passed.  While it’s true that most accidents happen within ten miles of home (simply because, statistically, that’s where you spend the majority of your life) all the things that can hurt you are natural, not supernatural.

It seems obvious that these people have been trained to be afraid.  I don’t think they’re doing and praying these things out of habit because they put so much sincere effort into this behavior.  Far too deliberate to just be a habit.  So why is there so much fear in their lives that they need to beg god for protection just to sleep or go somewhere?

Frankly, if christians really believed their bible, they shouldn’t be afraid of anything especially the unknown.  There are verses which clearly show that the father, the son and the holy ghost all take up residence inside the believer, they actually make their home with you.  That right there is more than enough overkill to mean a christian never has anything to be afraid of.  Not to mention (although I forget the exact number) there are more than enough Be not afraid’s to cover the entire year and every bad situation known to man.  And to top it off, Jesus says he will never forsake you.  How can you beat a combo like that?  Apparently, it isn’t enough, however.  So you’re also told that Satan is a defeated enemy.

I used to try to teach this sort of thing but I was met with vehement opposition.  One man went so far as to declare he needed his fear, that he couldn’t survive without it.  The concept of a fear free life was so alien to him that he refuted everything I said and completely ruined my presentation.  I was completely unprepared for his outburst, I thought I was bringing some very positive good news.  It never occurred to me that anyone would reject it.

Unfortunately, like so many other biblical teachings, there is an exact opposite teaching to being fear free.  Not only are you supposed to love god with all your heart, soul and strength but you’re also supposed to fear him.  Look up the phrase “fear and trembling” for how you should approach your loving father.  “Fear him who after the killing of the body has the power to throw you into hell,” says Jesus.  The old testament god was so terrifying his own people were afraid to use his name; according to Jesus that didn’t change.  In fact it got worse, the old testament doesn’t teach an eternal hell for unbelievers.  The fear of hell is a new testament teaching. 

God’s name is not god or Lord.  Those are words used to represent him but they are not names.  What do you suppose the commandment not to take his name in vain is all about?  It isn’t about swearing.  If Yahweh or Jehovah were actually correct interpretations of the name there would be quite a few churches (particularly charismatic and Pentecostal) full of dead people because they dare to toss around the name so casually.

The fear of god is the beginning of knowledge.  Some fear is useful.  The fear of being burned will keep most people from sticking their hands into a fire.  The fear of punishment can prevent some bad behavior.  Some fear isn’t so useful.  The fear of rejection can keep you from meeting the person of your dreams.  The fear of failure can keep you from trying something new.  So what does fearing god do for you?

It creates a lot of stress for one thing.  You’re supposed to love him and believe he loves you but you’re also supposed to be afraid of him because he could be displeased and throw you into hell.  God is love but fear his wrath.  God isn’t willing that any should perish but not believing in Jesus will send you straight to hell.  You’re supposed to call out to god for salvation but what are you saved from?  That’s right, you’re saved from god’s wrath.

You supposedly have free will, god’s great gift to mankind, but you are a sinner by default, you have no choice.  You’re born that way, you were conceived that way, it’s in your blood.  Your only option is to believe in Jesus so you don’t suffer the consequences for your sins.  Unfortunately, even after you do that, you’re still sinful by nature so you could still wind up in hell (unless you’re an once saved always saved believer), you don’t actually have much of a choice in the matter.  Constant diligence and repentance.  Stress.

In fact, the only way god can stand the sight of you is by looking through the Jesus filter. 

You’ve probably seen the emails passed around that end with something of the nature of pass this on if you really love Jesus.  If you don’t it means you don’t care about souls.  If you won’t confess me before men then I won’t confess you before the father, says Jesus.  If you won’t post this you don’t love god.  If you don’t put your money in the offering plate you don’t love the lost, said Sumrall.  I’ve seen this type of thing quite a bit lately.  What is it playing on?  Fear.

Fear that god will not approve of you.  Fear that god knows you’re not doing enough for him.  Fear that you don’t read the bible enough.  Fear that you don’t pray enough.  Fear that god knows you masturbate.

Where does all this fear come from?  It comes from your fearless leaders, your fearless christian leaders.  People so full of fear themselves that they spread it around all over their followers. 

I got off the fear boat a long time ago.  I realized it wasn’t a healthy kind of fear long before I realized my faith was worthless.  Seriously, if god is for you who can be against you?  And yet I still see christian leaders trying to instill fear in their followers, from the small little cell groups to the big overpopulated megachurches.

Yeah, it will get results but ultimately it’s a lousy motivator. 

Posted in interpretation, communication, listen, hearing, emotion, education, religion | Print | 2 Comments »

1. November 2009 by Frank.

I spent last night in the garage of some christians.  I thought we were going to a bonfire at the home of some christians.  I like bonfires, I don’t like garage parties.  I was not thrilled.

There was a fire but none of the adults wanted to go outside and enjoy it.  Apparently a large number of teenagers had been invited but only 4 grandchildren had shown up.  This didn’t bother my wife any but I felt cheated, no fire and teenagers!  Ugh!

So what I got instead was a bad night of really pathetic karaoke.

I don’t care about Halloween in the least but there are a couple of million better ways to spend an evening.

Apparently christians have no idea what dissonance means.  Witches, skulls, pumpkins, black cats, skeletons, ghosts and Jesus talk.  Having been such a serious fundy back in the day, I could never understand this then and it makes even less sense now.  The women got involved in a big discussion about witnessing, about showing the world they had something different and better to offer as an alternative to sin and evil.  And yet there we were surrounded by the symbols of sin and evil.  I just don’t get it.

There have been any number of blog posts the last few days about an article that temporarily showed up on Pat Robertson’s CBN site and a religious magazine site that denounced Halloween candy as being cursed by witches (among other things).  Even Countdown on MSNBC had an interview about it.  Pretty much everyone agreed that the article was too far off the deep end to be taken seriously.  Apparently even the christians at CBN’s website thought so, too, because the article was taken down soon after it started getting attention.  The problem with that is that as loony toons as the article was, it was biblically accurate and right in line with fundy thinking.  God condemns occult practices, witches, contacting the dead and states that demons are real.  So what does any bible believing believer have any business doing promoting any kind of image of such things?

The selective cognizance of most christians is a staggering thing.

Friday night (before sundown) I went with my SDA friend to help him get a new computer.  I had to drive because we might have been out past sundown before we got back.  When we did get back to his place he almost decided to leave the computer in my trunk instead of carrying it in his house because it was after sundown by then.  That meant it was the sabbath and therefore no work.

Fortunately he came to his senses and realized god wasn’t going to strike him dead for it.

I probably should have taken it home with me because I could have set it up in advance for him.  He has no tech abilities at all and I am rent a geek personified.  When I realized he was seriously thinking about not taking it in his house, I nearly burst out laughing.  Some of these situations I get myself into require way too much willpower on my part.

I can’t seem to get away from this stuff.

It would be so nice to get invited to some normal, non-christian function with some normal non-christians, but I don’t know how that can ever happen since I don’t know any such people.  So I guess I’ll have to plaster on my fake smile and pretend I’m having some semblance of fun a bit longer.

Posted in humor, technology, interpretation, emotion, religion | Print | 5 Comments »