‘TIS THE SEASON

8 hours a day all week long.

Nothing but christmas music.  Songs from back in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s.  Repeated 3 or 4 times a day.  The company I work for is trying to turn my brain into a giant mushy pile of goo and make my ears bleed.

All the while trying to freeze me to death in the backroom since there’s been no heat back there for over a month now.

Not that they aren’t trying to fix it, every time the guy comes in, he manages to short something else out.  He then orders more parts which won’t be in for yet another week.  Rinse and repeat.

Naturally, my car breaks down to the tune of nearly $700, thus insuring that no one gets nuthin’ for christmas again this year.

And, yes, Virginia, my wife threatened me with burning in hell for eternity if I don’t stop swearing and start going to church.

This has been a really fun week.

We also got our first ice storm of the season.  I love sliding through intersections and slipping down roads flanked by 5 to 8 foot deep trenches with no guard rails.  Next week, they are already warning about a massive Winter storm expected to hit Tuesday or Wednesday.  Joy.

My wife is planning on joining the new church she’s been going to so she had a copy of the church constitution in the car.  I, of course, decided to read it on my lunch break one day.  I only got part way through it but there was so much wrong with it that I never would have agreed to it even when I was superchristian.  Right off the bat, one of the main tenants was that you have to support and uphold the constitution.  It’s a nondenominational church but it is very anti-pentecostal.  The first thing I would have had a huge problem with was the declaration that there are no “supernatural” spiritual gifts in effect anymore such as speaking in tongues or prophecy or healing (except under special circumstances as god sees fit).  Only “natural” spiritual gifts such as teaching, preaching, and helping are for the church today.  Notice the contradiction of terms.

This church is also of the once saved always saved variety.  You can check out anytime you like but you can never really leave.

They also declare that the bible is the inerrant, literal, actual words of god in the “originals” which is far more common than you might realize.  The major problem with that is simply that there are no originals.  No one has ever seen the originals, just copies of copies of copies of copies.  How does anyone know what’s in them?

Naturally, they cite plenty of scripture to support these doctrines.  I can easily refute every one of them with other scripture which completely contradicts the ones they use. 

The one killer doctrine they hold is the universal depravity of mankind.  You’re conceived in sin, born in sin, live in sin, you have sin flowing in your veins.  I find that vastly amusing.  All those precious little christian bundles of joy are really hideous agents of satan just waiting to bust out.  No one actually believes their baby is full of sin so they have all sorts of implied doctrines to excuse that oversight.  Everyone must have Jesus as savior, even the little children but there’s special consideration for those too young to have any ability to understand.  Universal depravity is a thorn in christian sides.

Something else rather amusing is that they carefully associate themselves with a group that represents nondenominational churches but leave themselves a detailed “out” in case that group decides to do something they don’t like.  As I read that section, I couldn’t help but wonder why god would lead that group in a different direction than the church.  Why would he allow there to be disagreement about his will?  Shouldn’t all churches be going the same way?

None of this is new.  It was going on back in the day.  It’s a pity there’s been no improvement in the last 3 decades but I shouldn’t be surprised.  There’s been no improvement in the last 2000 years.  It’s as odd as the whole prenup agreements nowadays.  You start with the assumption of failure.  That’s no way to succeed.

The bible says god never changes.  Then it turns right around and says that he does.  I guess his followers have to be ready for that.

I couldn’t see how absurd all of this could be back in my fundie days.  Now, it’s so patently obvious. 

It seems as if the month of December shines a spotlight on all these things.  It’s supposed to give you the warm fuzzies but all it does is make my head hurt.

My score?  Season 1:  Me 0

This entry was posted on 6. December 2009 at 16:24 and is filed under interpretation, communication, humor, listen, signs, emotion, education, hearing, religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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