24. August 2010 by Frank.

Politics, religion, conservatives, liberals, fanatics, morons, idiots.

What’s a blogger to do?

We’re trying to get the house ready for my daughter and son-in-law to move in this week.  There’s quite a bit of stress from several sources already.  But now my son-in-law’s employer is throwing around the word outsourcing.  This could be potentially disastrous for him since it’s his department they intend to use the word on.

American business has been pulling this bullshit for many years.  Our fearless political leadership seems determined to continue making it easy for them to do so.  “Screw the employees,” seems to be the number one rule of business.

My company continues to push inflated sales goals and percentages on us even after the pennies are all you need raises they so generously gave us a couple of weeks ago.  Now they’ve informed us that despite our hard work and success in attaining those goals the so called reward for it has been cancelled.  We don’t get  the tech remodel after all.  That was the only bright spot lurking in our future.  Now, it’s just more business as usual.

One thing I can’t do at work is talk politics.  I am surrounded by rabid conservatives.  You even hint at anything political you suddenly start hearing all the buzzwords: socialist, Nazi, Muslim, the country is ruined, communist, deficit, any and all Fox News talking points.  It’s like they have a script they all read from.  And just like in real politics there is no debate.

There was a lot of time on Saturday for talking behind the tech counter.  The big tech event was a total bust as was the simultaneous teacher promo. No advertising except for a couple of signs in the store so the only people who came in were regular shoppers – there was no off-the-street traffic for either event.  Of course, the company’s expectations for the day were extremely high, making the results even worse.

What’s a poor liberal to do?

But you know what’s been getting the biggest and most frequent headlines lately?  The mosque at ground zero which isn’t really a mosque or at ground zero.  Fear mongering pure and simple but at such an intensity it drowns out everything else newsworthy.  It actually rates right up there with the misadventures of the Kardashian sisters (whom I have yet to figure out just why they’re in the news or even who they are for that matter.)  I know that’s celebrity gossip but I have no idea what makes them celebrities.  But I have yet to find a news page that doesn’t reference one of them at any given time.

Smoke and mirrors.  Anything to keep attention off of anything of any importance.  Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

I’m already condemned to having to work the rest of my life to pay all my bills – I won’t be able to retire in seven to nine years.  My stroke and my wife’s getting fired and subsequently breaking her hip has already eliminated all of our retirement money (which was so pathetic to begin with) that there’s no way I can retire even if they raise retirement age to 80.  Our fearless leaders are already pushing 70 as the new 64 while simultaneously providing funding for “THE WAR THAT NEVER ENDS,” which, as you well know, takes priority over all you baby boomers who are dragging society down with you.  Slackers!

I feel so sorry for all those disgraced CEOs who only get tens of millions in severance packages.

The only thing looking good on the horizon is that when we get our share of my father-in-law’s house we are going to say the hell with it and take a trip to Italy.  As Sandra Oh says so well in Under the Tuscan Sun, “It-tah-lee, fran-cis, it-tah-lee.”  Just like in the movie, once I’m there, I’m never coming back.

I’m sick of living in the real world.

Posted in humor, sarcasm, technology, communication, listen, wild guesses, emotion | Print | 3 Comments »

5. August 2010 by Frank.

After my incredible 12 cent raise I figured the financial screwing had reached a new low.  Naturally I was wrong.  Now comes a letter informing me that my insurance company wants to control what medicines we can take.  My wife’s anti-seizure med is a name brand but it is not on my insurance company’s preferred list.  So we were told quite bluntly that she can either switch to a generic or keep her name brand and pay more for it.  Tough titty if that doesn’t suit you.

Unbeknownst to them but “knownst” to me, we already tried that last year with disastrous results.  After a few weeks on the generic she started having seizures.  Quickly switching back to the name brand they stopped and have not come back.  For some reason the generic just doesn’t do the job.  Now I have a frigging insurance company telling me to use the generic or they won’t cover as much of it.

They have also changed to a mail order only plan that requires you order a 3 month supply in order to be covered or else they will only cover 50% of what you get any other way.  On top of that all the deductibles reset last month so there’s several hundreds of charges they won’t cover at all right now.  And they raised the premiums.

But this is the best coverage my company can find for its employees.

Meanwhile our fearless government is actually debating cutting Social Security.  We’re barely (and I mean that literally) surviving with my wife’s SSI disability check.  If that gets cut or goes away, we’ve had it.  We will be living on the street in our old age.

But wait, there’s more.  I just ordered my wife’s meds which will be well over two hundred dollars (with the deductibles and reduced coverage).  This destroys my budget at the same time I’ve run out of my meds (which are generics).  In order to pay for my wife’s meds I have to put off buying mine.  So up goes my blood pressure and Stroke2 City is just around the corner.

No matter what I do I’m screwed.

This five day respite has not worked out well.  There was no money and no relief from the heat and humidity.  I have to stay in my computer room (with my little AC) all day or sweat to death in a living room that gets up to a hundred.  I went out walking but that was it.

Maybe I’m just too tired and rundown.  Maybe the heat and humidity are just getting to me.  Maybe I’m just in my annual foul mood because Thursday is Stroke Anniversary Day.  Maybe living on the edge of disaster for so long has just worn me out.

I just feel like any decision I make is wrong.

I know that I’ve been griping about work for years.  I don’t know anyone who’s happy with their job.  A certain amount of complaining is normal and probably healthy.  But it has gone beyond that,

Several months ago they made what seemed like a minor management change, they switched the two assistant managers’ responsibilities.  The morale and operation of the store has gone downhill ever since.  It seems as if all three managers are working at cross purposes and are actively undermining each other.  Necessary work is not getting done, policies and procedures are not being followed, and employees are getting the blame and being dumped on.  Morale has never been this low even back in the days when they tried to scare us that the store was going to be closed.

The one hour I went in Sunday morning for the sales meeting put me in a near rage for the rest of the day.

It is now also officially Back To School season which is our busiest time of year.  It’s not likely that all the crap is going to get fixed now.  I dare say it will be getting much worse.

Immediately after that ends in the middle of September, two giant changes are going to happen.  The store will be remodeled into more of a tech-centric operation, quite extensive actually.  That part could be fun.  But the bad comes right afterward.  All assistant managers company wide are going to become hourly employees.  This has all the makings of a major disaster, especially for all the keyholders such as myself.  Since no one is allowed to work any overtime whatsoever, we will be stuck opening and closing far more often than we do now, which means even less time to do what we’re already responsible for.  It also means we have two more people that we’ll have to cover lunches for.  More time pissed away.  If just shifting the responsibilities of the two assistants we have caused the worst plummet in morale I’ve ever seen, I can imagine what this is going to cause.

Black Friday shows up immediately afterwards.  Oh, the humanity!

Plus we have the stress of my daughter and son-in-law moving back in with us next month because my daughter being out of work for a year ruined them financially as well.  Fortunately, we all get along great so it will be good.  But it will be a change.

No more sitting around in my underwear.

So why is this my latest blog entry?  Because it’s what’s on my mind and I just feel like bitching.

Posted in humor, sarcasm, technology, communication, emotion, wild guesses, stroke | Print | 1 Comment »

2. August 2010 by Frank.

The sign says, “A smile is a curved line that is the quickest way to straighten someone out.”  I think they think that’s clever and witty or perhaps maybe even pithy.  Personally, I think it’s rather lame.

But then I’m grouchy and having a lazy day.

I was fine until I had to go to work for an hour for the weekly sales meeting.  Since I am on a 5 day vacation before the start of Back To School, it was more than a bit of a nuisance to have to go in.  Apparently, no one felt like working yesterday so nothing got done.  Whoever did work thought it was all right to throw trash in the cardboard baler.  None of us at the meeting were scheduled to work today but the boss figured the only way anything was going to get done was to make us do it before the store opened.  So I got to clean out the baler and take out the trash.  I was not dressed for such activity and was more than annoyed.  My vocabulary descended to it’s lowest depths with great volume.

I really hate that damn store.

Yesterday I watched The Princess Bride to start my day off on the right foot.  Then I went to see Salt, the new Angelina Jolie movie.  It is a non-stop action movie, much more serious than expected, and quite exciting.  I would almost call it an old fashioned cold war spy movie.  I enjoyed it.  Afterwards I solved someone’s computer problems.  As soon as I got home it was time for my weekly three mile hike with my friend followed by a visit from my daughter and son-in-law.  My wife was gone for the rest of the evening so I had to place to myself and got rather mellowed out.  It was a good day.

It wasn’t a good night.  At 4 AM my little cat buddy leaped on my stomach twice.  Right after the second leap she started making noises like she was about to hack up a hairball in my face.  This got her thrown off the bed in a hurry.  I managed to go back to sleep for a couple more hours.  Woke up in a fairly good mood.

But then my hour at work ruined my attitude for the day.

My wife came home from church and announced that she had a meeting with the deacons because she joined the church.  That’s fine for her but it will be thrown in my face somewhere down the road because I should join, too.  It’s just not right that I don’t go.  But I told her before that I would never join that church even if I still went to church.  I read their constitution and there’s several passages in it that I would have been unable to agree with even back when I was super-christian.  Basically, there were several anti-Pentecostal statements which not only contradicted what I used to believe but were also direct contradictions to scripture.  Agreeing to those statements would make me a hypocrite.  Shit like that was important to me but it never phased my wife.

We were never on the same page when it came to religion.

After I left work I drove by a poorly attended church that had a new name on its sign.  Now it is called (something or other) Grace Temple.  For some reason, the word Temple jumped out at me.  I have been noticing quite frequently lately that many religious words seem to be much more superstitious sounding than I ever realized before.  Temple (at least this morning) seemed to have a rather pagan connotation to me.  Images from pseudo Greek mythology popped into my head (maybe because I had just seen a poster for Clash of the Titans a few minutes earlier), but I just had a sense of primitive people afraid of a thunderstorm bringing their offerings to appease their cruel gods.

I went downtown intending to take a walk but there were several hundred people down there because of the chalk art on pavement event.  No place to park so I headed home passing several more churches.  A couple only had a few cars in their parking lots but most were full.  The two biggest churches probably had about a thousand people in attendance each.  That’s more people than you normally see in one place around here at any given time.  I kept wondering why none of these churches had services at 1, 2, 3, or 4 in the afternoon?  Does god take a nap after lunch?  Is god an early riser?  Every one of these places has a 9:30 & 11:00 service and maybe an evening service at 5 or later.  But never anything right after lunch.

I whipped up a ham & egg & cheese sandwich for brunch and then I took a nap.

I awoke grouchy as hell and feeling quite the curmudgeon.  Unfortunately, I haven’t got much fresh material to work with.  I could rip on the reports that the Jordan River is too polluted to allow baptisms.  That brings up the question of just how the water in that particular river is any different from the water anywhere else.  I am quite sure the water that Jesus got dunked in is not the same water that is there now.  So how is it “holy” today?  I read some nutcase that thinks contraception is morally wrong and that people should let god decide how many children they should have.  Doesn’t sound like a wise plan to me; where’s those statistics on unwanted pregnancies?   Another report was a bit more interesting at first in that it covered the rise of some of the spiritual guru nonsense of the 60’s and 70’s.  Because of the Beatles.  Unfortunately, the writer is still looking for more of the same enlightenment.  Sarah Palin used the words on the hand trick again. 

Nonsense up one side and down the other. 

In case I wasn’t clear at the start: the sign was at a church.  At least it didn’t say that a smile is just a frown turned upside down or that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.  Those slogans make me throw up a little in my mouth whenever I hear them.  Smile, it will improve your face value.  Ugh!  I have to concentrate to be able to smile and then I have to be careful because I don’t want anybody to see my missing teeth (which would be quite the feat, I must admit.)  Although I will admit that all it takes to brighten my day is to be smiled at by an attractive woman.

But straighten me out?

Not very likely.

Posted in communication, humor, sarcasm, interpretation, wild guesses, emotion, hearing, signs, religion | Print | 3 Comments »

19. July 2010 by Frank.

As we enter our 4th week of 90 degree + very high humidity weather, a number of interesting events have taken place.

This weekend is/was the third big crowd event in town; the 4th of July fireworks, the art fair, and the Venetian Festival.  I have no interest in any of that but somehow or other I have managed to either be there or on the fringe of each of them.  I’ve seen all the crowds and walked amongst them unnoticed.  I’ve enjoyed some of the stuff while not actually doing any of the stuff.

Despite how uncomfortable it has been I have been outside walking more miles than I ever have in my life.  My feet are killing me but that hasn’t stopped me.  I’ve been sweating so much I should be only a pile of dust by now.  I really feel like I’m accomplishing something.  My weight has gone way down.  Except for my feet the rest of me feels pretty damn good.

My wife has friends visiting from Florida for the Venetian Festival.  Their original plans only included my wife and her girlfriend but the girlfriend got married last month and brought her new husband with her.  They only had three tickets to all the concerts and events so they have been off on their own and I have been left to fend for myself.  Which is OK by me, I have never heard of any of the entertainment they have down there and I will not eat outdoors in 90 degree heat.  That’s a real sure way to get deathly ill real fast.  I drove them down there and picked them up later and wound up walking around several miles two nights in a row.  I went and set up someone’s new high speed internet service in the meantime.

When we picked the friends up from the South Bend airport I couldn’t help noticing how much more empty it’s gotten since the last time I was there a couple of years ago.  Everything is now concentrated in one little area for boarding and exiting and they’ve moved all the security checkpoint stuff right up front.  The people manning this station looked absolutely bored out of their minds.  The airport is still functioning at threat level orange, a fact they keep repeating on the PA incessantly.  The staff all wear their little sanitary blue plastic gloves and the feigned disinterest which they scrutinize passengers seems rather artificial.  Air travel is pathetic.  Even if I had money, I would have no desire to fly anywhere.  If we give in the terrorists have won.  Guess what?  We gave in, the terrorists won.  I remember when this airport was a bustling, living enterprise; now, it’s just a shell.

Yesterday morning, my daughter and I went to see INCEPTION.  It was mind blowing as promised.  I’ll write up a review of it soon, maybe after I’ve seen it a second time.  I’m not entirely sure I saw what I thought I saw or that I interpreted what I thought I saw correctly.  You really have to pay attention, you can’t be texting or talking to your date.  The movie requires and demands all your attention.  And it insists your brain must be engaged and functional.  A trip to the concession counter would mean you should probably just go home because you’ll never catch back up if you miss just one scene.  If you want mindless, Summer, popcorn fare don’t even bother.  Highly recommended for serious, heavy duty, movie nuts.  I will say the special effects in this movie are absolutely awesome because they look real, so real that you’ll be wondering how in the world they did that.

Yesterday afternoon, however, was the real surprise of the weekend.

My friend, who goes on walks with me, got two tickets to some kind of event in South Bend and wanted me to go with him.  I didn’t know what it was supposed to be other than it involved a lot of walking so I went along.  He asked me to bring my camera.  It turns out it was a garden tour of an area they are trying to revitalize.  Strange but it was something to do.

Let me establish a few background details.  My friend is from Jamaica, he has a very strong accent, and he is very dark skinned.  He was wearing white shorts, white socks, white tennis shoes, white baseball cap, and a white muscle shirt.  And he is definitely into gardening.  I am pale white, silver haired, front toothless, wearing black tennis shoes, grey socks, black pants, a dark grey shirt (because all my light colored stuff was in the wash), and a white baseball cap.  No interest in gardens whatsoever.  So, essentially, a black man all in white and a white man almost all in black.  Felix and Oscar, if you will.

Bear with me, there’s a reason I mention this.

The garden tour took place in a rather rundown neighborhood that bordered on a somewhat ritzier neighborhood, a rather stark contrast.  There were many abandoned houses and old buildings, boarded up windows and many with shattered glass.  The sidewalks were frequently overgrown with weeds and littered with all sorts of trash.  Not the kind of place you would deliberately want to walk though.

The whole area screamed poverty.  My friend called it a ghetto.  In slang terms around here, it would be called “the ‘hood”.

Keeping in mind the appearance of my friend and I, we attracted a lot of attention as we walked around for three hours in the oppressive heat.  We’re both carrying our guide maps with the gardens marked on them and I’m taking pictures with my very noticeably expensive camera.  My friend thought the people were reacting to us like they thought we were undercover cops looking for drugs or something.  It was an odd journey.

But here’s where prior perceptions come in.

When you think of poverty or people living in slums or dying neighborhoods what do you expect those people to be like?  Do you think they’re all hostile or angry?  Do you expect violence or drunkenness?  Are you expecting drugs and prostitutes?  Would you be afraid of getting mugged or worse?

We did see some of that in evidence.

But what blew both our perceptions out of the water were the people who were part of the garden tour.  There were over two dozen gardens on the self guided tour, many of which were quite elaborate.  Most were manned by the gardeners themselves who were exceptionally friendly, very informative, quite happy, and upbeat.  Not a trace of fear or apprehension about having strangers coming up to their houses and walking around their yards.  We were even welcomed into secluded, fenced in back yards that were like islands of beauty in empty fields.  They were genuinely delighted to have folks showing interest in their work.  It was interesting just to watch the behavior.  Such a stark contrast to what you would expect in such an area.

We were both exhausted after walking several miles but we both had to admit that were totally wrong about our original perceptions of the neighborhood we were in.  We both decided we had blinders on and that we made assumptions based on fears and prejudices.  Our worldviews are skewed to the negative and assume the worst based on certain visual indicators.  But, because we’re so different to begin with, our fears and prejudices stem from different sources, the results, unfortunately, are the same; we fear what we don’t know and we project that onto people whether they deserve it or not.

It was quite the eye opener on many levels and food for thought for weeks to come.

One last thing:  there’s one of those internet sites that takes a sample of your blog and awards you some kind of rating.  Like NC-17 if you swear a lot or talk about sex.  This new one that only seems to have just shown up this week promises to tell you what “real” writer you’re the most like.  I noticed a couple of bloggers did it and were informed they were like Stephen King.  Yeah, right.  So I did it, too, submitting my last two posts here separately.  The first one also got me the Stephen King rating but the second one earned me the H.P. Lovecraft award.  Which obviously means the website just generates random nonsense like every other website that gives these ratings “awards”.  Since I’ve read both King and Lovecraft, I’m quite certain I write like neither of them nor is there any correlation in my style to theirs.

The only down note to all of this was that the memory card in my camera failed.  Although it appeared to be working at first there are no photos to go with the story.  In six years I have never had a memory card fail under any kind of weather conditions.  I have been out in higher temperatures and extreme humidity before for a longer period of time.  So far, I’ve found no way to salvage anything off the card and I have yet to disprove that it was the camera that failed.  I’m worried that it’s the camera, I can’t fix it or replace it.  My dreams live or die with that camera.

Wait a minute!  Part of the premise of the movie was that you never know how the dream begins, you always just start in the middle.  It tells you to ask, “How did I get here?” and “Whose dream is this anyway?”  Maybe I just dreamed the camera failed.  Maybe if I wake up soon enough it will still be working. 

That’s it!  I’m still laying on the floor having a stroke in the factory 12 years ago and nothing I think is currently happening is actually happening!

I mean, seriously, Sarah Palin almost became the vice president of the country, christians feel the need to carry guns to church, George Bush got elected president twice, Rush Limbaugh is the head of the Republican party, the FCC decides you can say dirty words on TV, the Supreme Court decides corporations can make all the political contributions they want, a liberal, black, Muslim, law professor from Kenya who has no birth certificate and who’s a communist, socialist, Nazi all at the same time is the current president, and I went from being super-christian to atheist blogger?  Oh, come on!  What kind of sick, warped mind dreamed that up?

See, I’m right!

It is all a dream.

Wow.  I’ll have to write this down when I wake up.  I hope I can remember all of it.

Posted in communication, interpretation, technology, humor, sarcasm, wild guesses, listen, emotion, religion, education, hearing, signs, stroke | Print | 4 Comments »

10. July 2010 by Frank.

Take a look at this:

There is a verse (Romans 2:24) in the bible that says, “….. God’s name is blasphemed among the gentiles because of you.”  I think this video is a perfect example of that.  It’s certainly one of more ridiculous religious extremist events I’ve ever seen.

It’s things like this that cause some of the gigantic rifts between Pentecostals and everyone else in christianity.

If you are at all familiar with Pentecostal, Charismatic, Word of Faith denominations you surely recognized Kenneth Hagin, the bestower of holy laughter, and his disciple, Kenneth Copeland, Mr. holy excitement himself.  Several other people in this looked awfully familiar as well but I couldn’t put any names with the faces.

Hagin wrote a considerable volume of books and booklets which cover the holy spirit fanatic branch of christianity rather thoroughly.  I read almost all of them.  But this is the first time I have ever seen a video of the man.  I left this religion back in 98 and YouTube wasn’t around then, all I had ever seen of Hagin was still pictures.  I had read about so called holy laughter but that was one experience I never managed to participate in.  Looking at this piece of tripe, I’m glad I didn’t.

The absolute absurdity on display here almost caused me to have some LSD flashbacks. 

While I was of the gifts of the holy spirit are for the church today persuasion, I was deadly serious about it.  I was all for joy and freedom of worship but this sort of thing embarrassed me because of it’s excessiveness.  I had been at conventions and services where the bizarre behavior was in evidence but it had never gone quite this far. Unfortunately, my calm practical spirituality was not what the church I was involved with wanted.  The pastor wanted Hagin’s level of nonsense.  He wanted to “dance” in the spirit.

I never understood why people wanted to act like idiots and claim it was the holy spirit making them behave that way.  I tried to teach what I considered a more “rational” method of behavior.  I failed miserably.  Somehow or other the word “holy” in holy spirit did not make me want to behave like I was having seizures.  Perhaps because I have to deal with my wife having real seizures from epilepsy, I don’t find that something worth mimicking.

People seem to me to be perfectly able to make complete fools of themselves without any spiritual influence at all.

The apparent involuntary muscle spasms on display are not isolated flukes.  I saw one young woman who could turn it on and off with such ease that I got the impression she practiced the behavior in front of a mirror.  She was perfectly controlled until the worship service started then she would begin convulsing and genuflecting spasmodically.  As soon as the worship time was over, she would stop and become serenely calm again.  Instantly.  While not as good at it as she was, I have witnessed hundreds of people exhibiting the same behavior.

Mass hysteria, I think is the proper term.

The extreme presented here obviously isn’t representative of mainline christianity in the least.  The vast majority would rightly condemn this sort of thing but there are untold millions who eat this stuff up.  I pretty much agreed with most of the related teachings of these people but I was convinced you could do it without the bizarre behavior.  I thought it was some clever plot of Satan to keep the rest of christianity away from the real power of god.  They might want that power but they don’t want to act like idiots to get it.

If you’ve never seen anything like this before I imagine you found it rather shocking.  I wasn’t being facetious about the LSD flashbacks.  Watching this clip did cause me to flashback to those days quite vividly.  I participated in more services with this sort of excess than I care to admit.  The affected behavior disturbed me but the underlying sense of power compelled me to remain.  I wanted that power so much so that I was willing to ignore the surrounding stupidity.

So all this wretched excess helped drive me away from christianity.

But the other side, the mainline side, is even more the reason for leaving.  My bible scholar side, my no emotion side, is even more convinced of the delusion of christianity because of the cold hard facts.

Put them together and the whole house of religion collapses on itself.

Excuse me while I head down to the Methadone Clinic.

Posted in interpretation, communication, humor, sarcasm, wild guesses, listen, emotion, education, hearing, religion | Print | 3 Comments »

4. July 2010 by Frank.

So a $3 error in my checking account led to a $40 fine for being overdrawn which caused something else to be short which pretty much ruined my 4 2/3 day weekend financially speaking.

Nevertheless, I went out for photos and walking for about three hours in glorious humidity free, cloudless air with temps that barely made it to 70.  Something very refreshing about that.  A couple hours from now, in virtually the same conditions, I’m going to go take in an outdoor big band concert.

For free.

That’s a nice word; free.  Especially when you’re broke and tired of just sitting around unable to do anything that costs money.

The truth will set you free, says the bible.  But that’s not the case, actually.  What it really does is put you in bondage.  How exactly are you free if you’re a slave to Christ?  How are you free if you have to toe the religious line all the time?  Where’s your freedom if what you want to do is considered a sin?  How is carrying a burden of guilt in any way freedom?

How can you be free of sin and yet still be a sinner?

The bible gets very confusing on this subject.  If you’re in Christ, you’re dead to sin.  Simple statement of fact.  Yet you still sin all the time, you’re still controlled by your sin nature.  You’re never more than a work in progress even though you’ve been redeemed.  And don’t you dare claim you have no sin.

There are plenty of people who will set you straight on that one.

And yet believers won’t let go of the idea of spreading their version of freedom around at every opportunity.  They don’t seem to  realize all the things they put restrictions on do not add up to freedom.  You are not supposed to think on negative sinful things, only that which praises god or is uplifting in some way.  Thinking itself has religious restrictions on it!  While there may be plenty of evidence that an obscene amount of people don’t think anyway, it’s frightening that there are billions whose religion tells them not to think for themselves.

And they actually believe it.

Curious that atheists are frequently called “freethinkers.”  While the terms are not necessarily synonymous, it’s curious how free thinking can have the same negative connotation.   I passed a church sign this morning that said true freedom is only in Christ.  Free thought would disagree with that completely.  God is the source of freedom as long as you are constrained by his guidelines.  Unfortunately that really means someone’s interpretation of his guidelines because the bible is so vague about what it really means.

There can be no doubt the bible is pro-slavery.  It was perfectly acceptable for the Jews to have slaves.  It was the will of god to make slaves of conquered people (unless he ordered their annihilation).  If you’re a believer, you’re a slave of Christ.  Why would god use that imagery if he wasn’t still of the same mind?  Have you ever noticed that you’re either a slave to sin or a slave to Christ?  No other options.  Freedom from sin means slavery to righteousness.

And that produces guilt which keeps you in bondage to sin.

You never get free of it until you die.

Somehow that seems like a pretty lousy plan.  There’s all sorts of euphemisms applied but essentially the idea is to keep you bound to the church and its clergy.  Sin never really lets go of you or you never really let go of it so you need someone to lead you back to righteousness and someone to forgive all your transgressions even after you’ve been washed in the blood.  That isn’t freedom, it’s bondage.

I used to preach the freedom in Christ but I wasn’t truly free until I left the church.  It began when I realized I had stopped feeling guilty about all the little things I enjoyed but which the church said were sin.  Every church service I sat in on was a reminder that I was doing something wrong, that somehow I didn’t measure up to god’s standards.  No matter how hard you were trying to live a godly life, you weren’t trying hard enough.  You weren’t praying enough, you weren’t reading your bible enough, you weren’t putting enough money in the collection plate, you didn’t really love everyone with the love of Christ, you weren’t leading enough people to god, you weren’t a good enough witness, and on and on.  Get away from those constant reminders for a period of time and see if you start feeling some actual freedom.

The world of the bible is the exact opposite of what it is presented as being.

Since I started writing this post I have walked 6 more miles, 3 of which were with a christian fanatic.  He confessed that after several years of being a christian he has still not read all the way through the new testament.  This is not surprising but in its own way it is shocking.  I pointed out to him that atheists know more about the bible than he does.  I never could figure out how I knew more about the bible than christians who had been christians for 40 or 50 years back when I was a christian.  It never occurred to me that they had never read their own holy word.  This guy admitted he had never read it because he’s incapable of understanding it anyway.  Ignorance is bliss and freedom is bondage if you have no knowledge of the foundation of your faith.

I read the blasted thing all the way through about 85 times!

That isn’t a brag or an exaggeration.  It’s a simple statement of fact.  I do things to the extreme, it’s the way I am and always have been.  It seems perfectly normal to me, nothing special at all.  Even the stroke did not alter that.

But apparently since it’s the 4th of July, I’m not the only one thinking in terms of free or freedom (which aren’t necessarily the same thing.)  This fellow also brought up being free in Christ.  That only the truth in Jesus could set you free.  The problem with his philosophy is that he has no idea what his written word actually says.

I don’t believe there’s any freedom in ignorance.

True freedom comes from considering everything rationally.  Take the emotion of guilt out it entirely.  Deep down in your heart you know the bible is wrong or you know your church is wrong.  You know the universe doesn’t revolve around the earth.  You know there wasn’t night and day before the sun was created on the 4th day.  You know mules don’t talk and you know that every species of animal on earth could not possibly fit or survive on a man-made boat.  You know that women aren’t property and that slavery is wrong.  You know that a god who tells you to hate your family and yourself isn’t really a god of love.  You know that.

But you’ll never be free as long as you believe that.

Don’t let your faith blind you.

Be free of religion.

And walk 13 miles in 4 days, it’ll make you feel good.

Posted in interpretation, communication, humor, sarcasm, listen, signs, religion, emotion, education, hearing, stroke | Print | 2 Comments »

28. June 2010 by Frank.

It was a 3.2 mile walk despite my feet’s claim that it was 4 miles not a foot less.  It was 81 and humid.  I was soaked long before I finished.

It felt good.

There were 3 churches in my 3 mile circle, there used to be 4 before one folded.  Virtually everyone was dressed up in their Sunday best.  I can’t help but wonder why that is?  I mean, god isn’t impressed with your wealth or possessions, right?  So who are all these people trying to impress if not each other?  Oh, look, god has blessed me more than you.

I am well aware that certain church people used to look down their noses at me.  After all, I was and still am a scruffy looking nerfherder even at my best.  I just have to be me, no pretension.  What you see is what you get.

Put me in a monkey suit and I still look scruffy.

Whilst my feet protested the torture I was putting them through, the rest of my body started loosening up including some real annoying stiffness in my back and shoulder.  The sweat was worth it.  There is something wonderful about walking in the fresh morning air.  It does cause a sort of euphoria.  Joy, if you will.

I seriously believe I got more joy in my hour and fifteen minutes than all those folks got in two hours in their stuffy churches.  I was in church for 17 years.  I watched multiple congregations behave in very similar ways despite their size or affiliation.  People pass notes, try desperately to keep their children entertained, whisper, sleep, yawn, fidget, daydream, and in general get bored out of their minds.  I used to teach and preach so I saw all of that from both viewpoints.  There was one guy in particular that came to Wednesday night services to catch a nap after work before he went home for the night.

It was common behavior.  I was guilty of it myself anytime I wasn’t teaching or preaching.  I was only happy in church when I was actively involved in the service.  Other times I sat there wondering why on earth I was sitting there listening to such boring drivel.

And that is one of the key things about my religious life that baffles me to this day.  I tried to make everything I said stimulating and exciting but the sad truth of the matter is that overall the bible is neither.  The truth needs a great deal of embellishment in order to be palatable.  All you have to do is stand up there behind the podium and watch your audience for signs of life or attention.  What you mainly see is people bored out of their minds, eager to get home to lunch.  You can see that they feel a sense of obligation, that they have to give god his hour.  A few actually look like they might be enjoying the service.  A few but not most.

Which indeed makes me wonder how religion has such a hold on people.

I understand for a lot of people it’s all about the social activity above all else.  You see, I was not among that group.  I was there for the word of god; I wanted his presence, I wanted to hear what he had to say either through me or to me.  I could have cared less if cousin Jim Bob was there and I could get a chance to talk to him.  I’ve got all the mundane events of daily life I can handle.  I wanted the supernatural.

Needless to say, I never got it unless I managed to work myself up into a frenzy of my own making.

I not only get the joy of breathing but also the joy of all the natural smells; the lake, the river, various and sundry flowers, restaurants cooking bacon, steaks, charcoal, and that indefinable something that only occurs outside of buildings. 

Today I almost got eaten by two very large Saint Bernards (fortunately of the very friendly variety) as well.

That beats an hour in church any day of the week.

Posted in communication, humor, sarcasm, interpretation, listen, emotion, education, hearing, religion | Print | 3 Comments »

29. May 2010 by Frank.

Several times during my 29 year marriage my wife has bottled up some very strong emotions for a period of time before clobbering me with them without warning.  Without going into much detail, these attacks are seriously devastating and often rather cruel.  Essentially they amount to, “I’m miserable, it’s all your fault, so now you can be miserable, too.”

Where she gets the idea that I’m not suffering already, I have no idea.

Several of these events have coincided with extended contact with a very unhappy, “all men are worthless fucking bastards,” friend of hers.  Guess who’s coming to visit next month?

That’s just speculation on my part but it is quite the coincidence and not easily ignored.

I don’t want to reveal all my dirty laundry, it’s really not that interesting.  Basically, I’m a loser, I’ve always been a loser,  and I’ll always be a loser if I don’t start to better myself.  Which means I need to go to school and get a better job.  When I point out that school costs money I’m informed that I should get grants to pay for it.  Somehow I have no ambition whatsoever and am a failure as a husband.

I’ve heard this routine before and it isn’t the part that really hurts though it’s bad enough.  My daughter was out of work for a year and her and her husband are really struggling.  Somehow my attempts to help them are an affront to my wife and some kind of conspiracy against her.  None of us seem to care what she wants.  No one helped us when we were just getting started so why should we help them?

This tirade just broke my heart.

I grew up believing my parents neither loved me or wanted me.  I refuse to ever let my daughter feel like that no matter what.  But here’s my wife telling me that I have to tell them to screw off, they’re on their own.

Damn!

Believe it or not, I’m not talking about money; everybody knows I don’t have any of that!

I didn’t bother to point out that I do have a plan for bettering myself.  I still want to start a photography business.  Last fall I did the senior pictures for a guy and they were very happy with them.  I could easily make a living doing that.  I did my daughter’s wedding photos as well.  But I need new equipment, my camera sensor has picked up a defect which creates the need for a lot of editing to make the pictures look great.  My lenses aren’t focusing anywhere near as well as they originally did.  But every time I turn around some major financial disaster stops me, usually involving either the car or horrendous medical expenses.

I could be quite happy taking pictures the rest of my life.

But I’m damned with that plan as well because I haven’t been able to make it happen for several years now.  This weekend I am getting screwed yet again with the changes my company has made with my insurance options.  No matter what I choose, more money that I don’t have is coming out of my check than it is right now.

This is all my fault because I’m such a worthless sack of shit.  You know, I can understand the frustration she must be feeling, I feel it all the time myself.  But I find means of letting it out (which is why I’m blogging this right now.)  The last time this happened her “so-called” friend was getting divorced.  Suddenly I became just as bad as her useless husband.  That’s why I find it suspicious that she is coming for a visit that I was not consulted about.

Should I tell my wife to keep this pariah away or will that just make it worse?

Maybe I should move out while she’s here?

Maybe I should stop speculating because, who knows, maybe she’s changed?

I’m going to a car show this morning with my daughter.  I’m going to take lots of photos.  But my heart isn’t in it.  I’m depressed.  I’m miserable.

And apparently I’m worthless as well.

Posted in interpretation, communication, wild guesses, listen, hearing, emotion | Print | 1 Comment »

23. May 2010 by Frank.

Went for a 3 mile walk on the beach yesterday.  Talk about feel good.

**********

Today is my 29th wedding anniversary.  I am completely broke so our special deal will be a picnic either at a park or the beach.  Temperatures have jumped into the high 80’s – low 90’s range instantaneously.  But, at least, it isn’t raining for a change.  Oh, yeah, I have to go to work for an hour long sales meeting this morning.  Lousy way to start the day.

**********

I thought I could criticize Rand Paul but then I figured, “why bother?”  Idiots like him are only going to push the Republicans further out of the limelight.

**********

Frankly, I am getting sick to death of politics.

**********

Why is it that those who push the “family values” agenda seem to be oblivious to their own lack of actual family values?  The guy (Rep. Mark Souder) was boinking one of his staff members (Tracy Jackson) and she was female so at least it wasn’t a gay thing this time.  That almost made it non-newsworthy.  But it was no less hypocritical.  He was also promoting abstinence.

I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

**********

I never did see that church sign that I wanted to mock again so I still can’t quote it correctly.  The one that replaced it is kind of obnoxious but not near as worthy of snark.  “Where you go depends on who you know.  Know Jesus,” says the new one.  The obvious meaning is simple; you’re going to hell if you don’t know Jesus.

I love having choices.

**********

There was a time when I was writing elaborate refutations of scripture.  Ever so often I think I should start doing that again.  Unfortunately, there seems to be an abundance of that type of blogging available already.  I would like to know if anyone here has any interest in that sort of thing?

**********

“Texas has a whorehouse in it.”  It’s called the Texas Board of Education.  It is populated by conservative idiots who have effectively watered down educational standards, not only in Texas but the rest of the country as well.  Let’s not mention Thomas Jefferson anymore.  Leave the “slave” out of “slave trade.”  America is a christian nation with a constitution based on biblical laws.  Just to name a few changes.

We especially can’t be having this separation of church and state business.

I watched our education system deteriorate while my daughter was growing up.  I was appalled when I saw them teaching how to use a calculator instead of how to do the math.  I was shocked when an elementary school book taught that Christmas was a holiday for rich white people and poor blacks had to turn to Kwanza.

But now they’re rewriting history to promote their own political ideology and agenda with a huge helping of religion thrown in for good measure.  Quite repulsive.

**********

LOST ends tonight.  That’s exciting and sad at the same time.

Posted in communication, humor, sarcasm, interpretation, listen, emotion, education, hearing, religion | Print | 1 Comment »

14. May 2010 by Frank.

Someone sent me an email wanting to put a christian themed music player on my blog.  I deleted it after due consideration.  Which, in case it isn’t clear, meant immediately.

I don’t know how many atheist blogs I’ve seen, that are on ad supported hosting sites, that feature totally inappropriate ads.  Because the theme and many of the words used on those blogs are religious in nature, the little ad bots pick religious themed ads to display.  Sometimes this creates a ludicrous effect.

Personally, I don’t want ads of any kind on my blog.

Another thing you won’t see here (in the foreseeable future, anyway,) is a comment policy.  Talk about unnecessary.

There is a system for adding control to who can comment here.  It isn’t much but it was on by default.  I turned it off because I am getting bombarded by obviously fake user names.  None of these so-called people have ever posted anything so what’s the point?  I don’t have the time or energy to deal with this stupid crap.

I notice that I have been swearing and cussing quite a bit as of late.  I tend to do that when I get frustrated and annoyed.  It’s mainly my job.  It’s pushing me over the edge and I have been unable to find a better one.  The latest thing wrong with it is that they’ve changed our insurance again.  Deductibles have gone up much higher.  Coverage is lower and seems to have more loopholes.  And prescription drug coverage is now mandatory mail order only from one specific company.  You have no choice in the matter.  This takes effect in July.

While I love my new used car, the payments kicked in last week.  They kicked the crap out of my meager budget.  Boy I wish I could live all the way as high as frugal.  That would really be like luxurious.

Not to mention, it’s been raining for weeks and is quite dreary.  This kind of weather makes my joints ache and my mood go down the toilet.

So it is very probable that I will continue to be inappropriate for quite some time to come.

Posted in sarcasm, communication, interpretation, religion | Print | 3 Comments »