1. January 2009 by Frank.

Matthew 5:18 (KJV) For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Or a little more clearly:

Matthew 5:18 (NIV) I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.

According to the Bible those are the words of Jesus himself. He had just delivered what is known as the Beatitudes and had declared that he came not to abolish the Law and the Prophets but to fulfill them. He then went on to tell the people that just calling someone a fool would put them in danger of hell. And looking at a woman with lust in your heart made you an adulterer which would also send you to hell. He finished up with love your enemies.

There are all kinds of problems in this passage, things that make you stop and think if you actually pay attention to what it says.

Notice that Jesus believes in hell. Notice how sin will send you there. Notice how almost every heterosexual male on the planet is an adulterer essentially from the moment they hit puberty. Notice how Jesus wants you to love your enemies but how his enemies go to hell. Hell is obviously real, Jesus says it is. Fire and all. Sorry all you modern Christians that want to softsell the idea of hell. Your God created it and still believes in it.

As for all you folks who don’t think the Law applies anymore because you are under grace, guess again. The earth is still here (I assume heaven is too even though no one has ever found it it), it has not passed away. The Seventh Day Adventists are right, the Law is still in effect. You’re worshiping on the wrong day. I’ll bet some of you work on Saturday. Report to church immediately so we can stone you to death.

Tell me fathers out there do you follow this law? Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (NIV) If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and he rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

So think about this; your virgin daughter whom you haven’t sold to someone to marry is out partying and gets raped and you find out about it. Do you kill the rapist or castrate him or at the very least beat him to a bloody pulp? No. According to the law of your most holy god you take 50 shekels of silver from the bastard and let him marry her. Permanently. No hope of divorce. The earth is still here, this law has not disappeared. Tell me ladies, if someone raped you would you want to be sold to him and then married to him for the rest of his life? This is the word of your “family values” god.

Speaking of adultery verse 22 tells us, If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. We’re gonna need a lot of stones to take care of that.

Verse 23 tells us that if you live in town and have sex with a rapist and don’t scream loudly enough for help we have to stone both of you. Verse 24 tells us that rape in the country with plenty of screaming for help is somewhat different. Because no one could hear your cries and rescue you, we only have to stone the rapist himself. Lucky you.

Feeling disgusted yet? Take off your faith blinders and read what your god actually said to you. But this is old testament! So what? Jesus said not one word would pass away from the Law until heaven and earth were gone. The old testament isn’t some kind of intellectual exercise for you to learn from, it is the word your god handed down to rule your ancestors. Women were property in those days. They could even be sold to their rapists.

Is this really where your morals come from?

This is the first of a series of posts about things that drove me away from my religion once my eyes were opened. I knew this kind of thing was in the Bible but my beliefs required me to ignore them. Churches everywhere turn blind eyes to the ugliness at the core of their faith. My eyes were opened.

This is what I saw.

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28. December 2008 by Frank.

I get overly excited on those few occasions when I get any feedback. Therefore I am constantly trying to figure out what people want to read about here. I have pretty good traffic but commenters are few and far between.

So I’ll do what I always do when I get flustered with blogging, I’ll write about whatever is on my mind.

I’d have to say the primary atheistic thing on my mind the last few months has been how absurd my former religion seems to me now. I read a considerable amount of atheist blogs on one hand and a like amount of political oriented flotsam on the other. There’s a lot of religion mentioned and ranted about by both sources.

It disturbs me greatly when I see some bizarre religious statement and then I realize I actually used to believe exactly that.

But how do I blog about these things? Do I get all scholarly and lecture? Or should I stick with the illustrative anecdote from my past church experience? I tend to want to lecture but I have been informed by more than one person that my lectures are not welcomed. And my supply of clever anecdotes isn’t all that big.

My wife is all excited about a former pastor who has returned to the area. She’s beginning to push to go see him. This man gave me many opportunities to preach and teach, I filled in for him many times. But there’s really no real relationship there that would compel me. My memory is quite different from my wife’s.

The man preached guilt. Loads and loads of guilt. You could walk into one of his services with a huge smile on your face, a spring in your step, and enough joy in your heart to cheer up a dozen clinically depressed people; listen to his sermon; and then walk away guilty, condemned, and far lower than all those people you were trying to perk up before. The man had a huge load and he wanted to share it.

He once stated, “I think about death every day.” He was big on preaching that you must be crucified with Christ literally every day of your life. Somehow crucifying yourself on Sunday wasn’t good enough to get you through until Tuesday. Your supply of sin was so big that Jesus could only take a day’s worth away from you each day. The ever popular “You must die to self” teaching was his strong suit. I didn’t realize it at the time but the man must have had some major issues in his life. Issues he was frightfully guilty about.

This guy was determined to keep everyone feeling guilty and condemned as much as possible. Sin is far more important than redemption to most churches. Sin is more powerful than Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice. Why is it in churches like this you constantly are told, “You’re just a sinner saved by grace,” and “There but for the grace of God go I.” Even though you accept Jesus your salvation isn’t complete. Even though you’re saved you’re still full of sin. You’re constantly in danger of offending God and ruining your relationship with him. So you had to come to church every week to hear how bad you still were, so you could learn to cling to God tighter and tighter. And by inference and association, learn to cling to your clergyman.

When I finally broke away from church the one thing that stood out among all others was that I stopped feeling guilty. Without those weekly reminders I had no reason to feel guilty. I wasn’t violating my own morals so I had no guilt feelings on my own. At church that was true, too, except that I was accepting the pastor’s own guilt and condemnation as my own. I was feeling guilty for things he said I should feel guilty about. Not about things I was actually doing.

I don’t have a problem with guilt, religious guilt. Why on earth would I want to go back to that?

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18. December 2008 by Frank.

Victim – (1) someone or something killed, destroyed, sacrificed, etc. (2) one who suffers some loss esp. by being swindled

I am not a victim. Never have been, never will be. I am a survivor. My mentor, Karen, whom I met shortly after the stroke altered my life, was extremely adamant about telling anyone who came to her for help recovering from a stroke, “you are not a victim! Never say that! You are a survivor!” She would kick your ass (virtually speaking) if you used that word.

She knew what she was talking about. Before her 6^th stroke killed her, the previous 5 had begun when she was only 15 and had left her barely able to speak and only able to use one finger of each hand. Nevertheless, she had built an online empire dedicated to helping stroke survivors. She worked from an old underpowered laptop hooked up to a piss poor 56K connection in the backwoods of Tennessee. She wouldn’t let anyone get carried away with self pity and she wouldn’t tolerate you calling yourself a victim.

I wasn’t inclined to use the word anyway but after getting to know Karen, it never occurred to me to use it again. She inspired me like no one else ever has or ever will. She didn’t want pity. She never complained about how hard her life was (although she would have been entirely justified if she had). She was a survivor and that’s what she wanted you to know about her ordeal.

That and the fact that you could survive, too.

Playing the victim is such a common thing in today’s society. I just read several articles today about Christians whining about atheist signs ruining their Christmas displays on government property. The government has two choices; either display religious signs and symbols from all religions or lack thereof, or, don’t allow any such signs and displays on government property. I believe the latter option is the best. No such luminary less than Chuck Norris (whom I can’t picture ever playing the victim) was whining about it with the words, “What about when Christians are the victim?” Christians love to be the victim. I fail to see how an over 80% majority that pretty much gets its own way in American society can possibly claim to be the victims against all us measly 5% atheists who are reviled just for having the temerity to exist.

The big bad (insert your favorite bully here) won’t let us have everything our way. They’re trampling on our rights. They’re offending us. Just knowing they hate us offends us. Oh, boo hoo, have pity on us.

When I hear the word victim that is what I start thinking. It is a weak, powerless position. Oh yeah, life can choose you as its victim, pounce on you and beat the crap out of you. But how you react and respond to that beating determines whether or not you actually become a victim.

My mother in law died from a series of strokes. She was a victim. She didn’t know how to fight back and none of us knew how to help her. You could see the life go out of her eyes. She gave up and it destroyed her.

I saw the exact same thing happening to me.

Nobody knew how to help me, either. My doctor was just as ignorant and unhelpful as her doctor had been. My wife didn’t have a clue how to help me. My daughter was only 14 but she at least had enough sense to listen to what I was saying at the time. She was the only one who did listen. Until I met Karen online. Don’t be a victim!

Re-read the definition of victim at the beginning of this article. Now contrast that with the definitions of survive and survivor:

Survive – to remain alive or in existence after – to continue living or existing

Survivor – (1) one that survives (2) someone regarded as capable of surviving changing conditions, misfortune, etc.

Which would you rather be?

TinaFCD used the phrase “stroke victim” in one of her greatly appreciated comments. She also mentioned she likes rants. So, since the word victim sets me off and I like to rant, I thought I’d kill two stone birds with one rock, so to speak. No matter what degree a stroke affects someone it is in some way life altering. If I had chosen to be a victim I would probably be dead by now. At the very least, I would not be able to walk. No one ever notices how I walk but even after ten years it is not natural to me. But I chose to be a survivor so I learned how to walk again.

They tried so many drugs on me and they sent me to all kinds of therapy. Nothing worked. I could have chosen to be a victim. I could have sat in a chair for the rest of my life drooling on myself. You would not believe how strong the desire to do just that was at first. I could have chosen a drug induced stupor that sure felt good but left me incapable of doing anything. I could easily have gone down the same path as my mother in law. There was nothing to stop me.

But I am not a victim.

I am a survivor.

I chose the pain. I chose not to be a victim. Like Hugh Jackman said in Van Helsing, “The pain let’s you know you’re alive.” Sure there are times when I would give anything for some relief but all it takes to knock me out are a couple of beers or one good stiff drink. I don’t sleep well but the only time I feel good (relatively speaking) is when I’m asleep.

I don’t know if this seems like much of a rant to anyone else but nothing pisses me off faster than someone playing the victim.

Anytime I catch myself doing it, I have to kick my own ass.

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23. November 2008 by Frank.

I just made a serious mistake in judgment; I went to the park.

We had a blizzard that dumped over a foot of snow on us yesterday. It was preceded last Monday by an ice storm. The entrance to the park is at the bottom of a steep hill. Which naturally meant the hill was covered with ice. I knew I had made a mistake as I passed a guy in a van on the wrong side of the road who had obviously slid over there while trying to go up the hill. To say that the roads in the park were a mess would be a gross understatement. But I have this thing about nature and beauty.

I also have a thing about not getting stuck if at all possible. So I did not stop or slow down anywhere in the park. By the time I got back to the entrance hill the guy had managed to get unstuck and had backed down the road. So I kept on going slowly up the hill carefully trying not to change speed. I was cursing myself for a fool all the way out but I made it without mishap.

When I related my story to my wife a few minutes later, I started to tell her what I said to myself. She interrupted and said/asked, “Lord, help me make it?”

“No,” I replied, I said, “You dummy! Don’t ever do anything this stupid again!”

Praying never occurs to me anymore. I have 35 years of Winter driving skills and my car has a brand new set of tires due to the aforementioned ice storm (my wife slid across a street and demolished the right front wheel on a curb – snapped the axle in half) and those reasons are why I drove out safely.

Back in the day I would’ve been praying/begging and then given god the praise even though it still would have been my driving ability to got me out of a bad situation.

I also would have had to contend with the nagging problem of why didn’t god warn me not to go in there in the first place.

My beliefs got me into conundrums like that frequently. The usual resolution was to determine I obviously wasn’t listening to his guidance. It never occurred to me to think there was no guidance being given. Whenever I prayed about what to teach or speak about in church I always got an answer. I was sure god was talking to me plain as day. But any other request seemed to fall on deaf ears. Financial guidance, emotional problems, health, all that sort of question never got answered in a way I could perceive.

It was not until later that I finally realized why I always got an answer about what to teach and speak about. It was really quite simple and completely non-supernatural. I was reading and studying constantly. I loved my bible and books about it. My head was quite literally filled with scripture. I could put together a talk with almost no effort since I was thinking about that sort of thing all the time. So it seemed as if god answered me without hesitation if I asked about his word.

Everything else, however, came under the heading of “Lean not on your own understanding.”

Christianity does not want its people to think for themselves. I could never see that. It was always a matter of god wanting me to depend on him more and more. When I first started letting myself read things to that effect I reacted very defensively, denying that such a concept was possible let alone accurate. But all you have to do is look at that one verse to understand the truth. “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.”

I’m the type of person who follows these sorts of things all the way out to their logical (or illogical) conclusions. It’s not hard to find hundreds of verses which agree with and confirm this anti-intellectual bias in the bible. You can dig yourself a very deep hole with these words telling you not to think for yourself. All the while you’re doing it you’re telling yourself that you are seeking and acquiring the “true” wisdom that comes from god alone.

Not to bring up politics again but surely you cannot have missed all the religious ignorance on display during this election season, especially if you frequent atheist blogs. There were appalling videos all over the net. The vapid stupidity and ignorance was awe inspiring in a perverse sort of way. And atheist bloggers jumped all over every example of it. So this is a very real, very modern up to date problem. That these people were proud of their ignorance only serves to prove the point even further.

I couldn’t see it and even denied it while I was involved in it but the evidence is all over the place.

Religion deliberately breeds ignorance.

Since I joined the rational world praying no longer is part of my thinking. Giving god glory never crosses my mind. If I make a stupid decision, I make it on my own. And if I get out of it, I do that on my own as well. This is so much simpler and so much less stressful than my former religious behavior.

You go down an icy road there’s no one but yourself to get you back up it.

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16. November 2008 by Frank.

I’m tired of politics.

Well, actually, I’m tired of political stupidity.

A guest in my house opined this brilliant piece of logic last night; “People are afraid of him because he’s a black man with a really unusual name, a scary foreign sounding name. I mean, nobody knows what he’s going to do. Nobody knows what kind of a man he is.”

The stupid, it burns!

If this is your sum total aversion to Obama then you really are a deep thinker aren’t you?

I wasn’t involved in the conversation, this person was my wife’s guest. But I have heard this same load of tripe for the last few weeks from a variety of sources, my co-workers and religious folks. I really don’t care if anyone is for Obama or not. What bothers me is how superficial the objections are.

“All you have to do is change that ‘b’ to an ’s’ in his last name and look at his middle name! It makes you think. Doesn’t it?”

No, it means you’ve stopped thinking.

It means you’re already brain dead and should report immediately to the nearest cemetery. Don’t worry, you won’t be alone.

What’s with all the politics? I thought this was an anti-religion blog. Well, yes, it is. Unfortunately, even the religious stuff is political lately. A couple of days before the election there was an elaborate article written by some fundamentalist whackjob which quite clearly and unequivocally stated that you could not be a real Christian and vote for Obama. It was quite heavily endorsed by an amazing amount of scripture that the author used to imply that a vote for Obama was really a vote for Satan. After the election, I’m sure you haven’t been able to avoid the story about a priest who doesn’t want to serve communion to any Catholic who voted for Obama before they repent and do penance for the horrible sin of voting for the most terrifying pro-abortion politician in history. God doesn’t like that.

Surely you’ve heard that the Mormon’s spent millions protecting the sanctity of marriage in California. I wonder how many starving children or how many suffering families could have been helped by all those millions? God hates gays so much he’s willing to let millions go hungry. Wow.

Like it or not religion is wrapped up in politics.

So is racism.

So is stupidity.

I really wanted to believe this country was making progress. Maybe part of it is. It sure isn’t around here.

I’m tired of politics.

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9. November 2008 by Frank.

“Now watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Won’t you sign up your name, we’d like to feel you’re
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!”

(Logical Song by Supertramp on Breakfast in America)

Maybe politics hasn’t changed in the last twenty years after all. No, I like the alternate reality explanation better. Somehow I crossed the barrier between the real world and the twilight zone without realizing it. Yeah that’s it. I did too much “LDS in the sixties” (shameless Star Trek quote) and now I’m having flashback hallucinations.

Either that or I live in a world that is batshit insane.

Welcome, comrades, to the Glorious People’s Republic of Americka! Yes, we’re all socialists, communists, and Marxists now. No, I’m not quoting religious right whackjobs! That’s what supposedly normal, intelligent, ordinary people I work with are saying! I was so excited about the results of Tuesday’s election and went to work eager to talk about how wonderful it was. Instead of getting to share the enthusiasm, I was greeted with a barrage of whining about socialism and the fall of democracy. The effective end of our way of life. No one in that damn store was happy about Obama.

Which surprised the daylights out of me.

Of course this part of Michigan is so heavily conservative Republican no Democrats ran for any of the local elections. The only choice was Republican, write in, or no vote. But I had the mistaken idea that hatred of Bush would tip some of these people the other way. Wrong.

Which is why I usually keep quiet about politics.

I confessed elsewhere that I was a die hard Republican for most of my life. I hated Clinton (but not because of his lack of morals – it was his lack of a spine that bothered me) and I came to loathe Bush after voting for him twice. When it became clear he had no regard for the law, the constitution, or even the people, I became convinced that conservatism had become a dirty word. As I told my co-workers, even the rats knew when it was time to abandon a sinking ship.

In order to keep myself balanced, I used all kinds of sources, right and left, extreme and mainstream, religious and non-religious. That’s much easier to do nowadays with the internet, you could actually be fully informed. Unfortunately, you can also be sucked into a parallel dimension full of the most vile, disgusting, drivel you’re ever likely to see. Ed Brayton calls it The World NUT Daily. It’s actual name is World NET daily but Ed is much closer to the truth. You can find it easy enough but I’m not going to dignify them with a link.

They don’t deserve it.

These people are so far right wing, Christian nutjobs, and bigots that they should be isolated from the rest of the world so they could live in their own hate and filth and bigotry until they become extinct. Tell me something, how can someone calling themselves Christian advocate pulling their children out of public schools because our government is training them to be liberal socialists? How can this same loving Jesus follower flat out state that you need to buy as many guns as you can and make sure you have as much ammunition as possible? Because the Marxists have taken over the White House?

How can good old Pat Boone (yes, the Pat Boone from back in the day) tell a young boy that the country got on the wrong bus on Tuesday and now we have to be driven around for four years by some unAmerican terrorist nutjob who’s going to destroy our wonderful way of life. And make us all be godless communists.

So again I ask what freaking parallel universe is this? And how did I get here?

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good alternate reality story as much as any other science fiction fan. But the key word there is “fiction”. This stuff is happening right now in the “real” world. I like my fiction to be on screen or in books not in my face.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that there are people out there right now who think that Sarah Palin is the next conservative savior for 2012.

Shudder.

I want my mommy.

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24. October 2008 by Frank.

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13. September 2008 by Frank.

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8. April 2008 by Frank.

Bizarre skin breakout a message from god. It’s time to call it quits after some kind of severe rash confirms what you were thinking all along. So says the email from the suddenly retiring pastor.

God sure has mysterious ways of telling his people what he wants them to do.

And therein lies the problem. How do you know if that’s god, an allergy, psychosomatic wish fulfillment, a mutant strain of poison ivy, etc.? Over the years I’ve used this same sort of reasoning to explain things in such a way that they fit my religious worldview. Bizarre events must be god trying to get your attention, to lead you in his direction because you may make the wrong decision based on the evidence you have.

I’m not putting the pastor down, I did the exact same thing for many years. I tried to interpret everything as being from god. Particularly at times when I had an important decision to make. I tried to rationalize everything I could to make the decision I already made seem as if god were leading me to decide what I had already decided. What better than some unexpected physical phenomenon to confirm your choice as being from god?

Please don’t try to deny that everyone does this to some extent.

What you eventually need to do is ask yourself why god has to be so vague? Why doesn’t he just come right out and tell you what his will is? Week after week after week we’re told that christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship with Jesus Christ. Relationships have to be two way, we not only have to talk to god (pray), we have to also “listen” to him. Oh, but here’s the kicker; if you claim you actually hear god talking to you, you’re a nutcase and need to be on some heavy duty narcotics. But it’s perfectly OK to get your godly guidance through feelings, coincidences, random events, and signs. Because, after all, that’s how god speaks to us today. Tell me you haven’t heard this before.

So god has limited his communication with us to things which may or may not mean anything but which we can spin to mean whatever we need them to mean. When I was first married my wife was driving and had a seizure while going 70 miles an hour. This quite nearly killed both of us before I managed to get control of the car and get it stopped. Desperate to make this near fatal tragedy fit our belief that god loved us and was watching over us we rationalized the explanation that god was teaching my wife that he was her freedom, not her new found ability to drive a car. So he allowed a deadly attack by satan to bring us to our senses.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But full of “faith”.

What it really was, was stupidity on our part because we knew her seizures were not under control. (They have been well controlled for over 25 years now.) But we had faith. We knew god wanted her to be able to drive. We were wrong.

I’ve actually heard preachers preach that god will give you cancer or some horrible accident or tragedy to get your attention to get you saved because he loves you so much. All you have to do is add some wishful thinking to make that true. What I want to know is why is god so inept at communicating? You can interpret events like this any way you want. They could mean anything or nothing. Or they could mean everything.

Personally, that sounds more like random chance than any intervention or communication from god.

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7. April 2008 by Frank.

I occasionally go to church to keep peace in the family. A couple of weeks ago for easter was practically a no option, you’re going kind of affair. Back in the day I could find some joy in any worship service no matter how dreary the music or the message. Indeed this church has gotten away from a lot of the old hymns (but not entirely.) They are rather contemporary in musical tastes now although the vast majority of music was contemporary in 1980 in charismatic churches. Now the baptists have discovered it. They even have drums. Unfortunately the drummer doesn’t know how to set the beat. That’s like a major shortcoming in a drummer. You also have older German ladies trying to sing very high notes with that peculiar German inflection that frequently renders such notes flatter than a board. The music often seems designed to rub my nerves raw.

The sermon was “Dialogue with God” which I was pointing out the other day. Obviously this dialogue doesn’t involve actually hearing god speak in any manner that makes coherent sense. If you claim god actually speaks to you in words you can understand good christians everywhere will look at you like you are some deranged psychopath. But if you relate some bizarre event as some kind of sign which you received guidance from, then that’s perfectly understandable and acceptable. Unless you are a practicing pentecostal.

You get words of wisdom and knowledge as well as interpretations of tongues all the time. Never mind that these are almost always exactly what you want to hear for any given situation. Never mind that they are usually so vague and general they could apply to anyone or anything or if they are personally relevant they should be taken with a grain of salt. Never mind that these thing only seem to happen when everybody wants them to happen. Never mind that they also sound suspiciously like something the person speaking would say normally if given the opportunity.

I once listened to a woman speak for an hour and a half, supposedly prophesying. We were informed she was a true prophetess of god. I had never heard of her before or after this appearance (I can’t remember her name for the life of me). Her most prominent characteristic was her pronunciation of “almighty gawwwwd.” She must have said it several dozen times. Anyway, she spoke for a long time supposedly moved by the holy spirit to reveal gods plan for his church that coming year. She droned on and on and on with absolutely no indication of inspiration of any kind. An hour and a half of pure mindless drivel. This was greeted with loud applause and amens and other rites of approval.

Funny thing is, however, the bible says that to be a true prophet of god you have to be 100% accurate. Nothing the woman said ever happened that year or any year thereafter. Now how is it that our spiritually enlightened leadership had no idea she wasn’t really a prophet? Why couldn’t anyone in the congregation get clued in besides me? If this is god speaking, he’s a horrible public speaker.

I spent twenty years of my life trying to listen to god speaking.

I finally realized he wasn’t saying anything.

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