8. January 2010 by Frank.

This is the fifth post I’ve written in the last two weeks but it is only the first post I’ve posted out of all of them.  Why?  Because I didn’t like the direction they were going. 

That direction was “nowhere”.

Not that they weren’t interesting, mind you.  They were just too much a reflection of my curmudgeonly anti-holiday / anti-tradition rantings that I do every year at holiday time.  In other words, I was following my own tradition of griping about other people’s traditions.  And, somehow, that just seemed wrong.

I do expect to get an earful of new material next week when I attend an “end of the world” seminar with a friend.  I’ve never heard of the speaker at all but I do know he’s Seventh Day Adventist so I have a pretty good idea of the direction he’ll be heading.  Yes, I know, I’m a glutton for punishment, but sometimes this sort of thing can be amusing if not informative.

I was always a fan of end of the world science fiction and that didn’t change when I became a christian.  I just traded mankind, aliens, and natural disasters for god, the devil, and demons as the cause of worldwide destruction.  The christian variations on the theme weren’t nearly as entertaining as the science fiction stories but I gave them more weight because they were based on the bible.  And since the bible was the word of god they had to be true and accurate.

Yeah, right.

I read multiple dozens of such books back in the 1980’s.  They were full of all kind of dire warnings and predictions stated with much bravura and unquestioned certainty; after all, god’s prophecies never fail.  Well, that was 30 years ago and hardly any of those declarations came to pass.  In fact, the average science fiction story by some hack writer was far more accurate in its predictions than anything the christian hack writers ever came up with.

One such book I remember was “When Your Money Fails” by Mary Stewart Relfe.  Not that it was a good book worth remembering.  It was a book full of all sorts of actual photos of diabolical mark of the beast money fantasies.  Well, at least, they were actual photos until you got to the last page where the author admitted they were all fakes (in very very very small print) designed for illustration purposes.  What’s remarkable is that there’s a website for this right here.  I only looked at the first page but can anyone say conspiracy theory?

Be very afraid of those embedded microchips.

Something far more plausible and disturbing is the retina scanners that deliver up tailored to the individual advertising in the movie MINORITY REPORT.  One of my blogs back in the day allowed for advertising so I put Google’s Ad Sense on it (this was when they first started promoting it).  It scared me to death when it started displaying ads that were about the exact same subjects as my current posts.  It didn’t take long to understand the technology behind it but it was quite eerie at first because I had never seen anything that uncanny.  Tailored advertising is here; tailored to the individual isn’t that far off.

Be afraid of that.  Especially if advertising works well on you.

Conspiracy theories seem to abound these days but they are really nothing new.  It’s when they are tied in with religion and right wing politics that they become really scary.  Because, unfortunately, otherwise ordinary people eat this stuff up.  The last time I went to one of these seminars there were over a thousand people there.  The one next week is in a much bigger building.  Even though I can’t remember the guy’s name I fully expect the place to be packed.

Don’t worry about me.  I am already practicing my eye rolling and covering my laughter with sneezing fits.  Not sure what to do if snoring occurs.

Posted in communication, technology, humor, interpretation, listen, education, hearing, signs, religion | Print | 4 Comments »

15. December 2009 by Frank.

Pain hurts.

Toothache pain hurts more than some other pains.

Nerves running through your sinus cavities and directly into your brain from your teeth hurt more than other nerves.

In other words, ouch!

**************************

Christmas music has rotted my brain already after only a couple of weeks.  One two hour shopping trip with my wife has driven me to the edge of Bah Humbug permanently.  I know that I should get out of retail if I can’t stand all the crap that goes with retail this time of year but I am stuck for the time being.  Why anyone thinks Christmas is a christian holiday is beyond me.

Christmas is an artificial marketing phenomenon designed to move as much unnecessary product as possible while liberating vast amounts of money no one can afford to actually spend.  It is a day of greed without equal.  Churches can whine about commercialism all they want but the truth is that the holiday has been usurped from them just like they usurped it from the pagans.

I have some old Charlie Brown paperbacks from back in the day.  In one of them I was looking at there was a routine with Charlie Brown upset about trying to buy a Halloween mask.  He was upset because they didn’t have any.  They didn’t have any because they were already putting up Christmas decorations.  This book was dated 1959/1960.

Think about that.  The same thing people whine about now was common fifty years ago! 

The Christmas season has been starting right after Halloween for at least the last fifty years and yet it is rehashed like it is a new phenomenon every one of those years.  It is probably a safe bet to assume it goes back even further.  Talk about keeping your traditions alive.

***********************

I have encountered a few people who use the phrase, “Merry Christmas,” as if it were some kind of attack.  I think these folks buy into the whole fake “War! On! Christmas!” bullshit that Fox News likes to promote.  They get mad at me because I don’t offer any holiday greeting at all.  I personally don’t care and my store doesn’t require it, we’re supposed to thank people for their business and be friendly but that’s it.  I’m friendly enough but I don’t feel any need to give any kind of holiday greeting just like I don’t feel the need to say bless you when someone sneezes.  You do know the superstitious nonsense that’s based on, don’t you?  I just don’t see the need.  (Although I will return a holiday greeting to people just being nice about it.)

**************************

It hasn’t been much of a season for big blockbuster movies.  2012 was ok but I have no desire to see it again.  I refuse to bother with teenage vampire romances even though I really like vampire movies.  I have high hopes for AVATAR because James Cameron does have an impressive history of great sci-fi.  SHERLOCK HOLMES has Robert Downey Jr. so that’s two major points in it’s favor but it also has Guy Ritchie directing which is a potential downer.  We shall see.

****************************

Right wing religion in the news has been on the lame side recently.  Getting Rick Warren to speak out against anti-gay laws in Uganda is hardly of interest.  Why would anyone believe anything the lying bastard says?  And Uganda is hardly a bastion of human rights to begin with.  If you want to see where prejudice lives just look at organized religion.  Really how is this news?

*****************************

There haven’t been any really good church signs to mock lately so I’ll have to use a lame one.  “A man wrapped up in himself makes a small package.”  Sort of Christmassy.  All of you secularists are self centered, small minded people.  If you focus on Jesus, you’ll be a big package.  Less of me and more of thee. 

Except that doesn’t really work.  If it did why would the church feel the constant need to teach its people to be humble?  Why would there be so much focus on what is called brokenness?  Pride is a bad thing, it has to be beaten out of you.  The only ego to be fed is the big guy.

*******************************

It’s no secret I don’t get much in the way of comments here despite having pretty good traffic.  Lately, I’ve noticed that if I comment on someone else’s blog the thread immediately dies or my comment is completely ignored amongst all the others.  I have several examples of both.  Apparently I am death to conversation.  Even after much introspection and wringing of hands, I still don’t know why.

It’s really strange because I’m such a nice guy.

*********************************

The baler was full at work yesterday so I had to make a bale.  All 4 wires broke when the bale hit the pallet.  There’s no way on earth to tip that back into the machine and even if there was you could never get the door to close again.  So I had to move it all by hand.  It was 30 degrees back there so I had on my sweater but I was sweating profusely.  And the Christmas music was blaring on its 4th or 5th go around.  So I spent 4 hours in frozen hell cleaning up the disaster.  You better believe I’m in the xmas spirit.  Ho Ho Ho, indeed.

Posted in wild guesses, humor, signs, hearing, religion, emotion, Uncategorized | Print | 1 Comment »

6. December 2009 by Frank.

8 hours a day all week long.

Nothing but christmas music.  Songs from back in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s.  Repeated 3 or 4 times a day.  The company I work for is trying to turn my brain into a giant mushy pile of goo and make my ears bleed.

All the while trying to freeze me to death in the backroom since there’s been no heat back there for over a month now.

Not that they aren’t trying to fix it, every time the guy comes in, he manages to short something else out.  He then orders more parts which won’t be in for yet another week.  Rinse and repeat.

Naturally, my car breaks down to the tune of nearly $700, thus insuring that no one gets nuthin’ for christmas again this year.

And, yes, Virginia, my wife threatened me with burning in hell for eternity if I don’t stop swearing and start going to church.

This has been a really fun week.

We also got our first ice storm of the season.  I love sliding through intersections and slipping down roads flanked by 5 to 8 foot deep trenches with no guard rails.  Next week, they are already warning about a massive Winter storm expected to hit Tuesday or Wednesday.  Joy.

My wife is planning on joining the new church she’s been going to so she had a copy of the church constitution in the car.  I, of course, decided to read it on my lunch break one day.  I only got part way through it but there was so much wrong with it that I never would have agreed to it even when I was superchristian.  Right off the bat, one of the main tenants was that you have to support and uphold the constitution.  It’s a nondenominational church but it is very anti-pentecostal.  The first thing I would have had a huge problem with was the declaration that there are no “supernatural” spiritual gifts in effect anymore such as speaking in tongues or prophecy or healing (except under special circumstances as god sees fit).  Only “natural” spiritual gifts such as teaching, preaching, and helping are for the church today.  Notice the contradiction of terms.

This church is also of the once saved always saved variety.  You can check out anytime you like but you can never really leave.

They also declare that the bible is the inerrant, literal, actual words of god in the “originals” which is far more common than you might realize.  The major problem with that is simply that there are no originals.  No one has ever seen the originals, just copies of copies of copies of copies.  How does anyone know what’s in them?

Naturally, they cite plenty of scripture to support these doctrines.  I can easily refute every one of them with other scripture which completely contradicts the ones they use. 

The one killer doctrine they hold is the universal depravity of mankind.  You’re conceived in sin, born in sin, live in sin, you have sin flowing in your veins.  I find that vastly amusing.  All those precious little christian bundles of joy are really hideous agents of satan just waiting to bust out.  No one actually believes their baby is full of sin so they have all sorts of implied doctrines to excuse that oversight.  Everyone must have Jesus as savior, even the little children but there’s special consideration for those too young to have any ability to understand.  Universal depravity is a thorn in christian sides.

Something else rather amusing is that they carefully associate themselves with a group that represents nondenominational churches but leave themselves a detailed “out” in case that group decides to do something they don’t like.  As I read that section, I couldn’t help but wonder why god would lead that group in a different direction than the church.  Why would he allow there to be disagreement about his will?  Shouldn’t all churches be going the same way?

None of this is new.  It was going on back in the day.  It’s a pity there’s been no improvement in the last 3 decades but I shouldn’t be surprised.  There’s been no improvement in the last 2000 years.  It’s as odd as the whole prenup agreements nowadays.  You start with the assumption of failure.  That’s no way to succeed.

The bible says god never changes.  Then it turns right around and says that he does.  I guess his followers have to be ready for that.

I couldn’t see how absurd all of this could be back in my fundie days.  Now, it’s so patently obvious. 

It seems as if the month of December shines a spotlight on all these things.  It’s supposed to give you the warm fuzzies but all it does is make my head hurt.

My score?  Season 1:  Me 0

Posted in interpretation, communication, humor, listen, signs, emotion, education, hearing, religion | Print | 2 Comments »

11. October 2009 by Frank.

Periodically, I have recurring nightmares.  They almost invariably take place in the factory I worked at for 23 years before I had the stroke and became a new man.  They always involve people I knew, whom I thought were my friends.  They always take place in the factory, which is quite recognizable even though it is always altered in some bizarre manner.  Tonight it was several thousand times bigger and employed thousands more bedraggled people.  It featured extremely odd material handling equipment including a spinning lift truck which shot out an enormous arm that grabbed objects with pinpoint accuracy before rapidly spinning back into a compact ball.

It was quitting time which was after midnight.  Everyone looked as if the life was completely drained out of them.  They were all dressed in shabby winter coats and other garb.  They shuffled past the time clock in a near zombie-like procession but then became incredibly nimble as they had to go to great lengths to dodge the aforementioned material handling machines in the parking lot.  These machines were moving every kind of container under the sun with completely disregard for the workers attempting to leave the plant.  Several groups were crushed under huge cargo crates but no one had time to notice because they were so busy trying to save themselves from the same fate.

By the time the workers made it to the far side of the parking lot there were only hundreds instead of thousands of them.  But they weren’t out yet.  The office building now had to be passed through.

This building was a labyrinth of featureless black glass panels.  People were crashing into invisible walls and being trampled to death when they fell.  The hundreds were reduced to tens and twenties.  These decimated groups made it up stairwells to a lighted section of the building.  At first it seemed empty but gradually there were signs of white collar workers in various cubicles.  They sat at computer terminals typing but they were all faceless.  Literally.

Then the remaining groups burst into an area that looked like a shopping mall.  It was almost entirely women’s clothing stores featuring pathetically bad clothing, brightly colored fabrics the were essentially just rags.  The women in the groups began ooh-ing and ah-ing and eventually started having orgasms as they hurried to touch the pretty fabrics.  They pulled all their money from their purses and coats and gladly threw it at the feet of the faceless minions who worked the stores.  Once they entered a store they never left.

The few remaining men took no notice of this but rushed on to the back side of the mall where there were several bars.  They rushed inside and began ordering beers.  They drank as fast as they could so they could order more.  They, too, spent every last penny they had.  They all drank themselves into a stupor which lasted all of five minutes before an alarm sounded and a voice announced that it was time for work.  They dutifully made their way back to the factory.

New workers were being brought in by the busload.  There were more familiar faces among them.  They trudged in and immediately began working, blank faced, glassy-eyed, and drooling.  Thus another workday had begun.

And thus I woke up unable to go back to sleep.  I used to wonder why I frequently woke up more tired than when I went to bed.  Vivid dreams like this are the reason; I’m far more physically active in the dream world than I am in real life.  This is what my brain is doing at 3 AM.

No wonder I’m worn out all the time.

Posted in interpretation, humor, wild guesses, signs, stroke, Uncategorized | Print | 1 Comment »

27. September 2009 by Frank.

I work for a company that thrives on statistics.  Every single day we are bombarded with this year’s sales figures compared to last year’s sales figures, customer counts, percentages to various budgets, variations to forecasts, comparisons to holiday weekends even if they don’t fall on the same general dates, and a plethora of other essentially useless numbers.  All any of us peons really want to know is if we sold enough stuff that we get to keep our jobs another day.

With this in mind, the first submission to this week’s Symposium prompted me to have a facepalm moment and shout, “Statistics!  Why’d it have to be statistics?!”  Turns out that Luke at Common Sense Atheism has a good reason to cite some statistics.  Drawing from the book, Society Without God by Phil Zuckerman, he lays out some pretty impressive stats (shudder) that clearly show non-religious societies are actually among the most “well-developed, wealthiest, most democratic, most free, most entrepreneurial, least corrupt, least violent, most peaceful, healthiest, happiest, most egalitarian, best educated, most charitable, and most environmentally compassionate societies in the entire world.”  Read it for yourself right here.

I am wholeheartedly interested in a less religious society.  It seems at times that I am being constantly pressured to move back to religion, almost like any other position is completely unacceptable.  So you join up in any way that you can with other atheist and humanist movements and discover that there are like minded people.  Unfortunately, none of them seem to be where you are if you live in a small town.  So you have this weird feeling that you’re part of something but not really part of anything because you’re the only one in your group.  It’s lonely out here.

I don’t think Greta Christina is lonely but she exposes a darker aspect of the atheistic and humanist movements brought about by perceptions of them being the exclusive domain of white males.  Being a white male myself, I was not aware there was even a problem.  Or that anyone would have reason to feel excluded.  (I’m not exactly the brightest bulb in the lamp.)  But that’s why it’s so important to read as many blogs as you can from so many divers people.  Greta has an excellent two part post exposing this attitude and suggesting some very practical things to avoid letting it get out of hand while we’re still early in the game.  (Part 1, Part 2)

Greta seems to be extremely well-known by virtually everyone I read.  She’s one of the most interesting people I’ve come across online.  This view is shared by the Humanist Symposium’s own Ebonmuse who offers his thoughts on the same subject after being inspired by reading Greta’s 2 posts.

It’s far too easy to be complacent and remain unaware of very real problems of this nature.  There are major issues at stake in the political culture of our country and the world and there are voices demanding to be heard.  A great deal of the loudest and most attention getting voices want to set us back a few hundred years.  One voice that wants us to move forward is Sikivu Hutchinson.  An interview with her by Greta Christina and several of her articles inspired more than just Greta and Ebonmuse to write about these concepts, I’ve read a number of other articles Sikivu inspired recently and must say that she is opening quite a few eyes.  Bold, reasoned, and unequivocal are some of the words I would use to describe her article “This Far By Faith?  Race Traitors, Gender Apostates and the Atheism Question.”  It’s not often someone of this stature notices a humble little blog carnival, let alone submits an article to it.

Originally, I had intended to link this Symposium together with a lighthearted rambling science fiction theme which I had all worked out in advance and was planning on writing this weekend.  I had correctly surmised that the vast majority of submissions would show up just a few days before they were supposed to be posted.  I wanted to do something fun and upbeat as well as unusual.  But things don’t always cooperate.

Phil for Humanity says, “Whatever that is keeping you from being with your loved ones, your family, your friends, your lover, from your true passion, or from just living your life in general; it is not as important as you may think.”  His brief post, It Does Not Matter, hits home for me in quite a profound way.

My father-in-law died quite unexpectedly yesterday afternoon.  He had a serious infection in his leg and my wife had moved in with him this last week to take care of him.  He was a very large man and she had called the EMT’s to come take him to his doctor’s appointment but he was having some trouble so they decided to go to the hospital instead.  He died before they got there.  Just the day before he was full of life griping and complaining about everything and what a nuisance his leg was becoming.  Death is a very ugly thing.  Lighthearted and frivolous just flew out the door.

Glowing Face Man submitted a post entitled, “The length of a Human Lifetime,” that is oddly appropriate just now.  Perceived time isn’t the same as real time based on age.  By any standard my father-in-law led a very full life in his just shy of 80 years.

One of my wife’s sisters remarked last night that Thanksgiving and Christmas won’t be the same this year.  She was obviously distraught but I had just read “Humanist Rosh Hashanah” by The Purloined Letter a few days ago and thought here was a great idea that could be applied to the holidays for our family this year.  Amazing how many of these submissions were comforting and appropriate to my family situation just now.

The aptly named The Emotion Machine sent in This Too Shall Pass (A Lesson In Impermanence).  Some things you think will never change and yet they do.  The wisdom story that begins the article is particularly effective and also illustrates perfectly something very near and dear to me; that is perception.

All of my perceptions about life were radically altered by my stroke eleven years ago.  I went from wanting to be a preacher for the rest of my life to having no faith and no belief in god in an instant (although it took a long time to figure out what happened.)  But very subtle and often very simple differences in perception can change an entire worldview.  Consider these examples:  Atheism: The Essence of Morality by Towards a Rational America and an Enlightened Judaism in which reasons for moral behavior are diametrically opposed and Concentration Brings Happiness (Why People Think They Can Actually Sing) by Scientific Living in which being mentally occupied is preferable to being mentally diffuse.  Singing in the shower is definitely a  matter of perception if anyone could hear you.

Religion and science butt heads all the time often in such things as the meaning of certain words or the perceptions of certain concepts.  It’s no secret the word THEORY doesn’t mean the same thing to a scientist and a creationist.  So The Evolving Mind says that Religion is a Rotten Variable; define your terms.  Our own prolific Philly Chief makes the same sort of connection pointing out how god belief attaches itself to morality so that they are perceived as one in the same.  God Belief is a Third Wheel says Philly and you know he’s right.  Meanwhile, The Primate Diaries points out that The Unseen and Unknowable Has No Place in Science just like questioning has no place in religion.  C.L. Hanson of Letters From a Broad is quite excited about “Here Comes Science” by They Might Be Giants.  Aimed at kids (obviously) but wouldn’t you rather see more science is exciting promotion in our current American society?  I know I would.  Let C.L. explain “Why I Love ‘Here Comes Science’!!!”

The Chaplain over at An Apostate’s Chapel is outraged, outraged I tell you that a big time publisher is cowering to extremists in publishing a book about the cartoons that offended the Muslim extremists without including the cartoons themselves.  She even uses the phrase, “…should have the balls to stand up for free speech and a free press,” in her article:  Yale University Press Caves In.  That’s outrage.

Celebrating the Win Does Not Always Mean Deriding the Loser says Vjack of Atheist Revolution which again brings up how you perceive the situation.  I myself can’t help but feel good when religion loses a little more of its hold over our society.  Indeed, as religion lost its hold on me personally, I became happier and happier.  So when they lose one on the national or world stage I get a boost out of it.

And finally, a post that was perfectly in tune with my original lighthearted intent.  Symbolism Shmymbolism by She Who Chatters (great name by the way) tackles an actually serious issue involving who we are as a movement and whether or not we need symbols to identify ourselves.

My wife is doing what she does to handle her grief, she’s out talking to her friends.  And I’m here doing what I do to handle my grief, I’m writing to my friends.  We handle things much differently not only because of personality but also because of religious differences.  I’m not sure why but there has been very little god talk the last couple of days beyond some religious songs they want played at the funeral.  Nobody wanted to see the chaplain while we were at the hospital.  Being quite familiar with what passes for compassion and comfort from religious folks at these events, I was relieved not to hear the same old platitudes I heard when my mother died a couple of years ago.

But no matter what you believe, death is ugly.  So ugly that we shouldn’t fear it but do everything in our power to overcome it.  To live our lives to the fullest extent possible.  To enjoy every moment of every day.  To rejoice in our humanity and share our lives and love with one another.  What more do we need?

You can participate in the Humanist Symposium by visiting the Symposium homepage for all the details.  The next issue is on October 18, 2009 at Cubik’s Rube.  Do Cubik a favor, submit your articles early.  It will make his life so much easier!

Posted in wild guesses, listen, interpretation, communication, humor, signs, hearing, stroke, religion, emotion, education, Blogroll | Print | 5 Comments »

19. September 2009 by Frank.

This week I auditioned for
Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap at my local college.  I did not get the part I wanted (the lead naturally) not because I wasn’t good enough but because I stick out like a sore thumb from the rest of the cast because of my age.  Most of the plays I have done there have had a healthy balance of the young college age beginners and the, shall we say, chronologically advanced old timers who still enjoy hamming it up now and then.  Not this time.  The old farts like me didn’t show up and that limited the character I would be believable playing.  So I’m not Trotter, I’m Metcalf and I only have 54 lines to remember.

This is not much of a challenge and that disappoints me.  I do these things to force my memory to function better.  The only thing difficult is faking a British accent.

At the same time I volunteered to host the Humanist Symposium on September 27.  That is only one week away.  So far I have 3 submissions, two of them by the same person so essentially I have two submissions.  The Carnival of the Godless I hosted several months ago was similar, all the submissions showed up at the very last minute.  Literally.  This is hardly encouraging.

I haven’t written it yet but I have a great big idea for a theme to tie it all together (assuming I get anything to tie) that will be quite the opportunity to show off my wacky side.  It should be a great way to increase traffic here.

A couple of nights ago I was at my friend’s house to help with his incredibly feeble computer once again.  (He’s going to buy a new one but I convinced him to wait for the new machines with Windows 7 preloaded.)  Despite my protestations he insists on claiming I am a gift from god.  Nobody has my computer knowledge and my patience (which is very Job-like) and could possibly be as good as I am at it.  So the only possible explanation is that god sent me.

I’m mean shit!  I’m a flaming atheist, aren’t I?  How can I have any street cred in the computer or atheist worlds if this guy goes around singing praises to god for me?

He had the radio on to a religious news station that was reporting the teachers who illegally took kids to a church function had somehow won their case.  He was amen-ing that like it was a good thing.  Of course it was good in his worldview.  Not so in mine.

Why do these people think it’s all right to cram their religion down everyone else’s throats?

I don’t want a world without religion, some people obviously need it, but I do wish I could live in a world where declaring yourself an atheist wouldn’t get you ostracized from all your family and friends.  I’ve been on Facebook for awhile now but I have no intention of linking it to here.  Mention atheism there and I would be instantly ruined and then some.  Everyone on your friends list gets to see everything about you and what you post instantly whether you want them to or not.  I like to be me but I have to keep some things anonymous for my own well-being.

In the meantime, I have purchased a new 1TB hard drive for my soon to arrive free copy of Windows 7 Ultimate.  I wanted a Western Digital that was on sale until I discovered it didn’t come with a cable and that the warrantee was screwy.  A couple of things have turned up lately with odd warrantee protection; you must register it in a certain time or you don’t get the 3 to 5 year version, you only get one year.  Not a total deal breaker but very strange nonetheless.  My old drive with XP is definitely showing signs of imminent failure.  I have nearly 60,000 photos on that drive (and backed up on the second drive (backed up on the external drive (and backed up on DVD’s))) and I do not want to risk losing them.  Having suffered severe hard drive failures before (and learning the hard way) I am department of redundancy department certified crazy about backing up my system.

The play does have one other thing going for it.  One young woman is so drop dead gorgeous that she’s worth the price of admission all by herself.  As Jim Carey once said, “Smokin’!”  I’m quite sure she will never even give me the time of day.

So not only am I an old closet atheist who’s a blessing from god, I’m an anal retentive dirty old man with delusions of grandeur and self importance to boot.

Aren’t you glad you know me?

Posted in wild guesses, interpretation, communication, humor, listen, signs, religion, emotion, education, hearing, Uncategorized | Print | 3 Comments »

21. August 2009 by Frank.

And I won’t be able to replace it.  So sad.

I just drove by a church sign a few minutes ago.  It did not have a trite pseudo-clever slogan or saying on it.  No, indeed, it featured a stunning question that stopped me dead in my tracks.

It simply read, “Green Christians?  Are there any other kind?”  WTF?

After I WTF’d, my first thought was that they must have meant green as in green behind the ears.  Knowing, as I do, that churches constantly keep going over the basics time and time again, I thought perhaps that was the suitable reference.  But I knew it wasn’t.  I was only fooling myself.

No, they meant green as in ecologically green, environmentally green, let’s stop global warming green.

Which does not in any way shape or form line up with what you see churches promoting on the issue.  Back in May I wrote a post about “The Stupid Arrives In My Small Town” which featured another church sign that made it clear only god controls the climate.  This seems to be the dominant religious view on the subject.  How can mere men think we can interfere with god’s control of the climate, global warming my ass.  (OK, maybe they wouldn’t say my ass.)

Obviously not every christian is in the global warming denial camp, nor is every church.  But a significant number of them are and essentially their message is god is not mocked, man can not affect the climate therefore we don’t need to worry about it.

That’s what floored me about the sign.  “Are there any other kind?”  Hell, yes, there are.  Talk about making broad unsupported claims. 

I get it.  “Evil Atheists?  Are there any other kind?”  Substitute wretched, miserable, angry, empty, sad, Satan worshipping, vile, militant, mad at god, god hating, scum of the earth, for “evil” and there you have the general description of our people.  Amazing how we all share those qualities.  But all christians are green?  That flat out does not compute!

I wonder if this church knows there are other churches in town?

Posted in communication, humor, interpretation, signs, emotion, hearing, religion | Print | 4 Comments »

30. July 2009 by Frank.

Quite a number of dates that I commemorate are about to occur.  August 5 will mark 11 years since the stroke and 10 years at my current job.  It was also the beginning of my financial death spiral which has turned into total disaster this week.  I don’t remember the date but sometime during the next week will be several years since the woman who was my best friend online and my mentor died from her 6th stroke.  August 17 will be 2 entire years since my mother died.  This past Monday was the date we took her to the hospital not knowing her life was over.  Then August 22 is my wife’s birthday.  My dad’s birthday is one month later on September 23.

You may think I’m preparing to wallow around in self pity with all that on the horizon.  Or at the very least that I get rather sentimental.

Neither would be correct.

My life began on August 5, 1998.  I was 43 at the time but all that was wiped out by a lack of oxygen to the brain.  Aside from the memory damage and the pain there were profound emotional and mental changes that took me years to come to terms with.  The biggest change was the complete disappearance of my faith.  It made no sense whatsoever so I kept studying religion to figure out what happened.  I also became a guinea pig for more drugs and heavy duty narcotics than I can remember.  The drugs did more damage to my body than the stroke did.  If the side effects for something include the words “sexual side effects” then believe me you don’t want to take those drugs.  “Weakness in the extremities” is also quite a bad side effect.  And, of course, we had to throw some Prozac in there somewhere which literally made me want to kill myself.

Karen the stroke survivor became my mentor and best friend soon after.  Barely able to speak and only able to type with two fingers, she created an entire online empire to help stroke survivors.  She had already suffered 5 strokes in her brief life but she would not quit or give up even an inch in her fight against what they had done to her body and her life.  She inspired me to become active in trying to help other survivors.  She’s the reason I started blogging and the reason I continue to this day.  I never met her in real life but she’s the most inspiring human being I ever encountered.

Unfortunately, her death at her 6th stroke occurred during a time where my memory is very hazy.  That’s why I can’t come up with the year for the life of me.  I’m very sad that she’s gone but I know in my heart that I am a much better person for having known her.  Her influence in my life was far beyond anything I had ever experienced before including my religion.  I know there are many more people that she affected just as much or more.

My love/hate relationship with my job began exactly a year after the stroke.  It didn’t take me long to realize that I could be very happy managing my own store.  Unfortunately, my health and the drug trial and error process combined with several managers who were threatened by my ambitions led to a series of denials of advancement.  By the time I actually did get promoted 3 years ago it was such a pyrrhic victory that all I managed to do was get more work dumped on myself for no money.

The job is, however, the catalyst that got me to change my name.  Frank is my first name but I was always known by my middle name.  The manager at the time paid no attention to that and called me Frank.  I had changed so much that I liked the idea even though I previously hated the name.  When I realized how much confusion that would cause with people who used to know me I went with it wholeheartedly.

July 27 began three weeks of the worst suffering I have ever witnessed anyone go through.  My mother’s pancreas malfunctioned and literally dissolved itself and other internal organs.  The doctor described it as having 3rd degree burns internally.  No one should have to suffer anything like that.  The horror she went through should be enough to convince anyone that there is no god but all her religious friends kept saying how wonderful god was and that he was just calling her home.  It was sickening.  I would rather someone blow my brains out than be made to suffer that agony.  I actually handled her death better than the rest of the family.  Take that whole fairy tale life after death business out of the equation and it becomes so much simpler and easier to handle.  You didn’t exist before you were born and you don’t exist after you die.  What’s so hard to accept about that?

I can’t believe two years have already gone by.

Birthdays won’t be any big deal, we can’t afford to celebrate them so the most that happens is a computer generated greeting card.

So I take note of these days and I usually write a blog post like this.  A lot of changes took place in my life over the years and they seem to converge in the month of August.  I don’t actually feel much about any of them.  Emotions are alien to me for the most part.  Apathy isn’t really an accurate word for my mental state but it’s probably how I come across.

Perhaps these are just reminders that if you can survive all this you can survive whatever is yet to come.

Technorati Tags: death,life,stroke,mentor,dates

Posted in wild guesses, interpretation, communication, listen, signs, religion, emotion, hearing, stroke | Print | 7 Comments »

15. July 2009 by Frank.

Across the street, in the Wally World parking lot, there was a semi all day today.  It had a simple black on white sign filling the length of the trailer.  The message was also all over the cab.   “Jesus Christ is the Lord, not a swear word,” was all it said.

One would have to assume the truck driver does not approve of good old fashioned vulgar language.  Or that he takes that not taking the name of the Lord in vain thing in the more superficial meaning.  That’s fine by me.

If he wants to declare that to the world, more power to him.

Have you noticed, however, that if atheists try to do the same thing (on bus signs and billboards, for example), that suddenly everyone is up in arms to try to stop them?  Even when the message is something as simple and inoffensive as “Imagine No Religion”

Or “Don’t Believe in God?  You Are Not Alone.”

How are those phrases offensive?  Seriously, how is that a threat to anyone?  I never could understand how so many christians are so terrified of people not believing the same way they do.  I don’t just mean of atheists, either.  Many christians can’t even handle the fact that there are other “real” christians that don’t believe exactly like they do.  If god is on your side how can such simple opposing views be of any consequence to you?

In related news, another atheist blogger decides to call it quits.  Yunshui of Right to Think has thrown in the towel.  He actually got loads of commenters to inspire him but, alas, has still lost interest.  Several others are getting to the only posting once a month or less stage.  Oh well, I’ll have to find some new writers.

Quite a few of these people seem to get stuck in a rut trying to debate things with fundies that the fundies have no intention of debating.  I’ll admit my brain frequently turns to mush when I see someone write that they are going to argue some point or another.  I am an observer.  I write about what I see.  I don’t really care if anyone agrees with me or not.

So it’s sad to see another one bite the dust, especially since it hasn’t been all that long since atheist bloggers were nowhere to be found.

Posted in communication, signs, religion | Print | 2 Comments »

2. July 2009 by Frank.

I’ve got a really nasty one right now.  Usually this type of pain is accompanied by a bad spike in my blood pressure which isn’t the case this time.  There is the sensation of having a fever, however, which is always a sign of a really bad headache.

Nothing I can take has any effect on one of these.  I just have to suffer through.

Just one of many unpleasantries I have to suffer periodically.

I was just reading some comments on another blog that brought up the old without god you can’t be moral theme.  I’ve actually been noticing that quite a bit lately.  Basically the christian declares that without god the only option is to become morally depraved and unrestrained.

I have to wonder where this idea comes from?

Indeed, as a christian, I was fascinated by end-time prophecies.  I thought it was the coolest thing ever to fantasize about how Revelations was going to play out.  I actually found joy in imagining the utter destruction of billions of people.  There was no doubt in my mind that only a relative few would survive god’s ultimate judgment.  Of course, I was going to be among those few.

How, exactly, is this a moral way of thinking?

Billions of people’s lives mean absolutely nothing to god or his children.  They were created so he could pour out his wrath on them to show how righteous his judgments are.  If you believe in predestination, it gets even worse because you have no option about what is going to happen to you.

How is that moral?  Is your head hurting yet?

I’ve mentioned before about being in church services where the preacher in a frenzy of religious blindness actually led the congregation in asking god to put cancer, AIDS, heart attacks, etc., on their friends and loved ones so that they would be brought low enough that they would call out to god for salvation.  It didn’t matter that those people would have to suffer horribly and probably die, at least they would be saved.  Their souls wouldn’t go to hell.  Who cares if their lives were ruined otherwise?  Is this moral?

I had a real bad headache or two after sitting through this particularly horrid type of worship service.  The thing that was the most shocking was how many people gleefully took up the challenge of praying for their loved ones in this manner.  Imagine a few hundred people pleading with god to give Uncle Bob a nasty form of throat cancer because he spends so much time smoking at bars and nightclubs.

Suppose you worked in some kind of biological laboratory and had access to a Petri dish full of the most virulent life destroying little buggers ever conceived.   If you were to smuggle them out of the lab and release them into the water supply of a large city what would you expect the reaction of the rest of the world would be?  If they caught you, you would be universally condemned as the worst terrorist who ever lived.  You and I know this.  There is no question.  This would be an immoral act of the highest degree by any civilized standard.

But this is exactly what those good moral christians in that good moral church were asking their good moral god to do for them.  God, after all, has the power to give life and take it away.

How can we mere mortals have higher moral standards than god?  Why is it most societies condemn slavery but the bible doesn’t?  Why is it everyone knew murder is immoral long before the bible was written?

That question used to bother me a lot as a christian.  How could I have higher moral standards than my god when he was supposed to be the only source of said morals?  It used to give me headaches.

Being free of religion for the last eleven years has led me to realize that my moral standards never came from god or the bible in the first place, I had them before and I still have them after being a christian.  Like many other facts of life religion usurps what is right and true and then claims that you never knew or had it before religion revealed it to you.  They keep beating you over the head with it long enough you eventually begin to believe it and then you can’t fathom how anyone else could possibly know such things without your god, too.

I hope in some small way that I have made you think hard enough to get a headache.  Because, well, misery loves company.

And I am, after all, an immoral douchebag.

Posted in humor, interpretation, wild guesses, signs, religion | Print | 3 Comments »